1.
Sister Mary Katherine lived in a nunnery, a block away from Jack's liquor store in Dublin…One day, she came into the store and said, “Oh Jack, give me a pint o' the brandy.”“Sister Mary Katherine,” exclaimed Jack, “I could never do that!”“I've never sold
Sister Mary Katherine lived in a nunnery, a block away from Jack's liquor store in Dublin…One day, she came into the store and said, “Oh Jack, give me a pint o' the brandy.”“Sister Mary Katherine,” exclaimed Jack, “I could never do that!”“I've never sold
2.
The big game hunter walked in the bar and bragged to everyone about his hunting skills.The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that.But then he said that they could blindfold him and he would recognize any animal's skin from its feel,
The big game hunter walked in the bar and bragged to everyone about his hunting skills.The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that.But then he said that they could blindfold him and he would recognize any animal's skin from its feel,
3.
A woman walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer.
She says she’s going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer tells her that the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan,
A woman walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer.
She says she’s going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer tells her that the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan,
4.
A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passenger had been killed.
As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car.
The officer looked down at the monkey and said,
“I
A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passenger had been killed.
As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car.
The officer looked down at the monkey and said,
“I
5.
Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation.When they get to the cabin, the guy goes out to chop some wood to start the fireplace.When he gets back, he says, “Honey, my hands are freezing!”To that she replies “Well, come here an
Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation.When they get to the cabin, the guy goes out to chop some wood to start the fireplace.When he gets back, he says, “Honey, my hands are freezing!”To that she replies “Well, come here an
6.
A woman who is constantly embarrassed by her husband falling asleep in church goes to the priest to ask for help.The priest says, “Look love, if he falls asleep again, poke him with this hat pin.I'll nod to you as a signal to poke him.”.The woman agrees t
A woman who is constantly embarrassed by her husband falling asleep in church goes to the priest to ask for help.The priest says, “Look love, if he falls asleep again, poke him with this hat pin.I'll nod to you as a signal to poke him.”.The woman agrees t
7.
The woman says, “I can make the boss give me the day off.”The man replies, “And how would you do that?”The woman says, “Just wait and see.”She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.The boss comes in and says, “What are you doing?”The woman replies, “I'm
The woman says, “I can make the boss give me the day off.”The man replies, “And how would you do that?”The woman says, “Just wait and see.”She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.The boss comes in and says, “What are you doing?”The woman replies, “I'm
8.
A naturopathic doctor opens up a wellness clinicHe puts a sign outside that says ‘GET TREATMENT FOR $20 – IF NOT CURED, GET BACK $100.'A lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic.Lawyer: “I have lost my sense of taste.”
A naturopathic doctor opens up a wellness clinicHe puts a sign outside that says ‘GET TREATMENT FOR $20 – IF NOT CURED, GET BACK $100.'A lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic.Lawyer: “I have lost my sense of taste.”
9.
… something that this captain knows all too well.A ship was travelling in a dangerous part of the sea. The captain saw a pirate ship approaching their vessel.The captain yells to his crew, “Men, bring me my red shirt!”The crew brings him his red shirt, h
… something that this captain knows all too well.A ship was travelling in a dangerous part of the sea. The captain saw a pirate ship approaching their vessel.The captain yells to his crew, “Men, bring me my red shirt!”The crew brings him his red shirt, h
10.
A man had just settled into his seat next to the window on the plane when another man sat down in the aisle seat and put his black Labrador Retriever in the middle seat next to the man.The first man looked very quizzically at the dog and asked why the dog
A man had just settled into his seat next to the window on the plane when another man sat down in the aisle seat and put his black Labrador Retriever in the middle seat next to the man.The first man looked very quizzically at the dog and asked why the dog
11.
Three friends die in a car crash, and they find themselves at the Gates of Heaven.
Before entering, they are each asked a question by St. Peter himself.
“When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning you, what would you like to hea
Three friends die in a car crash, and they find themselves at the Gates of Heaven.
Before entering, they are each asked a question by St. Peter himself.
“When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning you, what would you like to hea
12.
The female brain works on a different tangent than male.Last night I was sitting in the living room, talking to my wife about lifeIn-between, we talked about the idea of living or dying.I told her, “Never let me live in a vegetative state, totally depende
The female brain works on a different tangent than male.Last night I was sitting in the living room, talking to my wife about lifeIn-between, we talked about the idea of living or dying.I told her, “Never let me live in a vegetative state, totally depende
13.
Women are honest, loyal, and forgiving.
They are smart, knowing that knowledge is power.
But they still know how to use their softer side to make a point.
Women want to be the best for their family, their friends, and themselves.
Their hearts
Women are honest, loyal, and forgiving.
They are smart, knowing that knowledge is power.
But they still know how to use their softer side to make a point.
Women want to be the best for their family, their friends, and themselves.
Their hearts
14.
“Bob, I'm sorryI've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess:I have been helping myself to your wife when you're not around, probably more than youIt's been so incredible and fun, I've not been
“Bob, I'm sorryI've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess:I have been helping myself to your wife when you're not around, probably more than youIt's been so incredible and fun, I've not been
15.
In Mexico City, the 200 meter final was runAmerican (black) athletes Tommie Smith and John Carlos came first and third, while Australian (white) Peter Norman won the second.While they were waiting for the medal ceremony, Carlos came to Peter Norman and as
In Mexico City, the 200 meter final was runAmerican (black) athletes Tommie Smith and John Carlos came first and third, while Australian (white) Peter Norman won the second.While they were waiting for the medal ceremony, Carlos came to Peter Norman and as
16.
A neighborhood kid was looking for ways to earn money.He knocked on the door of one house, and when the man answered the boy asked, “Hey mister, got any odd jobs I can do?”The man indeed had a job for the boy to doHe handed the boy a can of red paint and
A neighborhood kid was looking for ways to earn money.He knocked on the door of one house, and when the man answered the boy asked, “Hey mister, got any odd jobs I can do?”The man indeed had a job for the boy to doHe handed the boy a can of red paint and
17.
On his first day on the job, the trainee dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone:“Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!”The voice from the other side responded:“You fool, you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to?”“No,” replied
On his first day on the job, the trainee dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone:“Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!”The voice from the other side responded:“You fool, you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to?”“No,” replied
18.
Two guys, one old, one young, are pushing their carts around the grocery store when they collide.The old guy says to the young guy, “Sorry about thatI'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going.”The young guy says, “
Two guys, one old, one young, are pushing their carts around the grocery store when they collide.The old guy says to the young guy, “Sorry about thatI'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going.”The young guy says, “
19.
The Wine Taster At An Old Vineyard Died. A Homeless Guy, Looking Ragged And Dirty, Came To Apply.
He Persuaded The Manager To Give Him A Try.
The guy was given a glass of wine. He swirled, smelled, sipped and spit.
“It’s a red wine, Merlot, three
The Wine Taster At An Old Vineyard Died. A Homeless Guy, Looking Ragged And Dirty, Came To Apply.
He Persuaded The Manager To Give Him A Try.
The guy was given a glass of wine. He swirled, smelled, sipped and spit.
“It’s a red wine, Merlot, three
20.
Ray and Bob, two Government maintenance guys, were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.
A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.
“We’re supposed to find the height of the flagpole”, said Bob, “But we don’t have a ladder.”
The
Ray and Bob, two Government maintenance guys, were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.
A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.
“We’re supposed to find the height of the flagpole”, said Bob, “But we don’t have a ladder.”
The
21.
An Alabama pastor said to his congregation, “Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan.
This is a horrible lie. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this.
Now, I want the party who said this to stand a
An Alabama pastor said to his congregation, “Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan.
This is a horrible lie. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this.
Now, I want the party who said this to stand a
22.
She ended the letter saying she preferred accommodation as close as possible to a WC.You anglophones will recognize WC as a water closet or toilet. The Swiss innkeeper was not that well acquainted with English, so he took the letter to his friend the par
She ended the letter saying she preferred accommodation as close as possible to a WC.You anglophones will recognize WC as a water closet or toilet. The Swiss innkeeper was not that well acquainted with English, so he took the letter to his friend the par
23.
Suddenly a big burly man walks in and slaps Ray so hard that he falls off the stool.“That was a karate chop from Korea,” says the big man proudly.Ray sighs, gets up and brushes the dust off his clothes, sits down on the stool and continues to drink his be
Suddenly a big burly man walks in and slaps Ray so hard that he falls off the stool.“That was a karate chop from Korea,” says the big man proudly.Ray sighs, gets up and brushes the dust off his clothes, sits down on the stool and continues to drink his be
24.
Joe grew up in a small town, then moved away to attend college and law schoolHe decided to come back to the small town because he could be a big man in this small town.He really wanted to impress everyoneHe opened his new law office, but business was very
Joe grew up in a small town, then moved away to attend college and law schoolHe decided to come back to the small town because he could be a big man in this small town.He really wanted to impress everyoneHe opened his new law office, but business was very
25.
There was a party in the woods and, all of a sudden there was a downpour of rain.Two young men ran for about 10 minutes in the pouring rain and finally reached their car just as the rain let up They jumped in, started it up and headed down the road, laugh
There was a party in the woods and, all of a sudden there was a downpour of rain.Two young men ran for about 10 minutes in the pouring rain and finally reached their car just as the rain let up They jumped in, started it up and headed down the road, laugh
26.
Little Johnny was on a park bench stuffing all of his Halloween candy in his mouth.
An old lady came over and said.
“Son, don’t you know that eating all of that candy will rot your teeth, give you acne, and make you sick?”
“My grandfather lived t
Little Johnny was on a park bench stuffing all of his Halloween candy in his mouth.
An old lady came over and said.
“Son, don’t you know that eating all of that candy will rot your teeth, give you acne, and make you sick?”
“My grandfather lived t
27.
A very wealthy lawyer in a small town is notorious for never giving money to any charityThe local animal shelter knows he has a dog and they think that this could be their way into his wallet.They go to his door and he answers, “What do you want?”One of t
A very wealthy lawyer in a small town is notorious for never giving money to any charityThe local animal shelter knows he has a dog and they think that this could be their way into his wallet.They go to his door and he answers, “What do you want?”One of t
28.
His friends to him at coffee: “We adore your family life, you've got a great life with your wife and kids.You don't make her say things twiceTell us the secret of this happiness or we'll consider you as a diffident”“Well, i can shortly explainAfter our w
His friends to him at coffee: “We adore your family life, you've got a great life with your wife and kids.You don't make her say things twiceTell us the secret of this happiness or we'll consider you as a diffident”“Well, i can shortly explainAfter our w
29.
Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25-year-old blonde-haired woman who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful appeal and charm and who hangs over Bob's arm and l
Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25-year-old blonde-haired woman who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful appeal and charm and who hangs over Bob's arm and l
30.
Nasreddin Hodja was boasting about the power of his faith.“If your faith is so strong, then pray for that mountain to come to you,” said a skeptic, pointing to a mountain in the distance.Nasreddin Hodja prayed fervently, but the mountain did not move.He p
Nasreddin Hodja was boasting about the power of his faith.“If your faith is so strong, then pray for that mountain to come to you,” said a skeptic, pointing to a mountain in the distance.Nasreddin Hodja prayed fervently, but the mountain did not move.He p
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