1.
A farmer had just gotten a new rooster for his hens and the old rooster of many years was worried he would be replaced.
However, he had a cunning plan on dealing with this young rival.
He went up to the new rooster and said, “Right, I’ll make you a
A farmer had just gotten a new rooster for his hens and the old rooster of many years was worried he would be replaced.
However, he had a cunning plan on dealing with this young rival.
He went up to the new rooster and said, “Right, I’ll make you a
2.
Wife: Doing her makeup early morning straight out from BedHusband: Are you crazyWife: Just shut up, I need to unlock my phone.Its on face recognition feature and it is not recognizing me.Husband: Laughing Loudly
Wife: Doing her makeup early morning straight out from BedHusband: Are you crazyWife: Just shut up, I need to unlock my phone.Its on face recognition feature and it is not recognizing me.Husband: Laughing Loudly
3.
“It ain't my fault this time, Miss RussellYou can blame this ‘un on my Daddy.The reason I'm three hours late is my Daddy sleeps naked!”Now, Miss Russell had taught grammar school for 30-some-odd years.Despite her mounting fears, she asked little Ranger wh
“It ain't my fault this time, Miss RussellYou can blame this ‘un on my Daddy.The reason I'm three hours late is my Daddy sleeps naked!”Now, Miss Russell had taught grammar school for 30-some-odd years.Despite her mounting fears, she asked little Ranger wh
4.
He's feeling good about his chances, and as he walks into the interview room, he decides to be completely frank and honest.He shakes hands with the interviewer, and they sit down facing each other. The interviewer takes out a notepad and says, “Nice to m
He's feeling good about his chances, and as he walks into the interview room, he decides to be completely frank and honest.He shakes hands with the interviewer, and they sit down facing each other. The interviewer takes out a notepad and says, “Nice to m
5.
At work, Tom and Jack were chatting:Tom: Jack, I've been attending evening classes for 8 months now and I have a test next month.Jack: oh!Tom: For example, do you know who is Thomas Edison?Jack: NoTom: He's the inventor of the light bulb; if you take even
At work, Tom and Jack were chatting:Tom: Jack, I've been attending evening classes for 8 months now and I have a test next month.Jack: oh!Tom: For example, do you know who is Thomas Edison?Jack: NoTom: He's the inventor of the light bulb; if you take even
6.
A customer in a restuarant orders a bowl of soup.However, the customer notices that something is wrong.So he calls the waiter over.“Can you please taste the soup?”“What's wrong with the soup?”“Just taste it.”“Why?”“Just taste it.”“Sir, I–““Just taste it.”
A customer in a restuarant orders a bowl of soup.However, the customer notices that something is wrong.So he calls the waiter over.“Can you please taste the soup?”“What's wrong with the soup?”“Just taste it.”“Why?”“Just taste it.”“Sir, I–““Just taste it.”
7.
An elderly couple is both lying in bed one morning, having just woken from a good night’s sleep.
He takes her hand and she responds.
“Don’t touch me”
“Why not.” He asks?
She answers back. “Because I’m dead.”
The husband says to her.
“Wha
An elderly couple is both lying in bed one morning, having just woken from a good night’s sleep.
He takes her hand and she responds.
“Don’t touch me”
“Why not.” He asks?
She answers back. “Because I’m dead.”
The husband says to her.
“Wha
8.
The bartender said, “You can't bring that monkey in here!”The man said, “Don't worry, he won't cause any trouble.”Within seconds the monkey jumped on the pool table and swallowed the cue ball.The bartender yelled, “Hey, he just ate my cue ballNo one can p
The bartender said, “You can't bring that monkey in here!”The man said, “Don't worry, he won't cause any trouble.”Within seconds the monkey jumped on the pool table and swallowed the cue ball.The bartender yelled, “Hey, he just ate my cue ballNo one can p
9.
A young lady came home from a date, rather sad.
She told her mother, “Jeff proposed to me an hour ago.”
“Then why are you so sad?” her mother asked.
Because he also told me he is not believe in god.
“Mom, he doesn’t even believe there’s a hell
A young lady came home from a date, rather sad.
She told her mother, “Jeff proposed to me an hour ago.”
“Then why are you so sad?” her mother asked.
Because he also told me he is not believe in god.
“Mom, he doesn’t even believe there’s a hell
10.
The pastor stood before the congregation and said;“I have bad news, I have good news, and I have more bad news.”The congregation got quiet.“The bad news is: the church needs a new roof!” the pastor said.The congregation groaned.“The good news is: we have
The pastor stood before the congregation and said;“I have bad news, I have good news, and I have more bad news.”The congregation got quiet.“The bad news is: the church needs a new roof!” the pastor said.The congregation groaned.“The good news is: we have
11.
Hud was staying with his grandfather for a few days.He'd been playing outside with the other kids, when he came into the house and asked, ‘Grandpa, what's that called when two people sleep in the same bedroom and one is on top of the other?'His Grandpa wa
Hud was staying with his grandfather for a few days.He'd been playing outside with the other kids, when he came into the house and asked, ‘Grandpa, what's that called when two people sleep in the same bedroom and one is on top of the other?'His Grandpa wa
12.
In a part of Las Vegas humans don’t know about, a group of animals are playing cards in Las Vegas… and arguing.
Lion: “Stop taking glances at my card, you’re a cheetah!” Cheetah: “No, you’re a Lion!” Warthog: “You guys are just ignoring the guy with th
In a part of Las Vegas humans don’t know about, a group of animals are playing cards in Las Vegas… and arguing.
Lion: “Stop taking glances at my card, you’re a cheetah!” Cheetah: “No, you’re a Lion!” Warthog: “You guys are just ignoring the guy with th
13.
Three newlywed men were discussing their wives.The first guy married an Iowa gal; he says, I told my wife she had to all the cooking.The first day I didn't see anything, but on the second day, she fell into line.The second guy married a Minnesota gal; he
Three newlywed men were discussing their wives.The first guy married an Iowa gal; he says, I told my wife she had to all the cooking.The first day I didn't see anything, but on the second day, she fell into line.The second guy married a Minnesota gal; he
14.
Paddy was summoned to court to appear as a witness in a lawsuitThe prosecutor opened his questioning with,“Where were you the night of August 24th?”“Objection!” said the defense attorney“Irrelevant!”“Oh, that's okay,” said the Paddy from the witness stand
Paddy was summoned to court to appear as a witness in a lawsuitThe prosecutor opened his questioning with,“Where were you the night of August 24th?”“Objection!” said the defense attorney“Irrelevant!”“Oh, that's okay,” said the Paddy from the witness stand
15.
One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer.
However, as soon as he starts to draw a crowd, the zookeeper grabs him and forcefully drags him into his office. The zookeeper then explains to the m
One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer.
However, as soon as he starts to draw a crowd, the zookeeper grabs him and forcefully drags him into his office. The zookeeper then explains to the m
16.
Four married guys go fishingAfter an hour, the following conversation took place:First guy: “You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekendI had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend.”Seco
Four married guys go fishingAfter an hour, the following conversation took place:First guy: “You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekendI had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend.”Seco
17.
A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary Italian man walking a dog on a leash. Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking in single file.The Jewis
A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary Italian man walking a dog on a leash. Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking in single file.The Jewis
18.
Once while travelling, Tenali Rama found himself in the company of a group of soldiers.
They were all veterans of war and soon they got to talking about their experiences on the battlefield.
One old soldier told of the time he had single-handedly sl
Once while travelling, Tenali Rama found himself in the company of a group of soldiers.
They were all veterans of war and soon they got to talking about their experiences on the battlefield.
One old soldier told of the time he had single-handedly sl
19.
A couple were going out for the eveningThey'd gotten ready, all dressed up, cat put out, etc.The taxi arrives, and as the couple got out, the cat shoots back in.They don't want the cat shut in the house, so the wife goes out to the taxi while the husband
A couple were going out for the eveningThey'd gotten ready, all dressed up, cat put out, etc.The taxi arrives, and as the couple got out, the cat shoots back in.They don't want the cat shut in the house, so the wife goes out to the taxi while the husband
20.
It's a beautiful warm day and a man and his wife are at the ZooShe's wearing a cute loose-fitting, pink spring dress, Sleeveless with straps.As they walk through the ape exhibit and pass in front of a very large gorilla, the beast goes crazy.He jumps up o
It's a beautiful warm day and a man and his wife are at the ZooShe's wearing a cute loose-fitting, pink spring dress, Sleeveless with straps.As they walk through the ape exhibit and pass in front of a very large gorilla, the beast goes crazy.He jumps up o
21.
After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.He looked at her for a while, and then said, “You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K.”She asked, “What does that mean?”He said, “Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant,
After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.He looked at her for a while, and then said, “You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K.”She asked, “What does that mean?”He said, “Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant,
22.
A poor boy was in love with a rich man’s daughter. Overcome with his love for the girl, the boy proposed to her.
However, the rich girl derisively rejected him and said, “Your monthly salary is equivalent to my daily expenses. How do you expect me to m
A poor boy was in love with a rich man’s daughter. Overcome with his love for the girl, the boy proposed to her.
However, the rich girl derisively rejected him and said, “Your monthly salary is equivalent to my daily expenses. How do you expect me to m
23.
He was hooked on trees his whole life.2Why was Santa's little helper depressed?Because he had very low elf esteem.3What does the Grinch do with a baseball bat?Hits a gnome and runs.4What do you call a broke Santa Claus?Saint-nickel-less.5. What do you cal
He was hooked on trees his whole life.2Why was Santa's little helper depressed?Because he had very low elf esteem.3What does the Grinch do with a baseball bat?Hits a gnome and runs.4What do you call a broke Santa Claus?Saint-nickel-less.5. What do you cal
24.
One day a horse trader, a foreigner, came to the court of Krishnadeva Raya and told him he had some fine horses for sale.The emperor offered to buy them.The man took an advance of 5000 gold coins and promising to return with the horses in two days, went a
One day a horse trader, a foreigner, came to the court of Krishnadeva Raya and told him he had some fine horses for sale.The emperor offered to buy them.The man took an advance of 5000 gold coins and promising to return with the horses in two days, went a
25.
A man is talking to the family doctor:,..
“Doctor, I think my wife is going deaf.”
The doctor answers:,..
“Well, here’s something you can try on her to test her hearing.
Stand some distance away from her and ask her a question.
If she doesn
A man is talking to the family doctor:,..
“Doctor, I think my wife is going deaf.”
The doctor answers:,..
“Well, here’s something you can try on her to test her hearing.
Stand some distance away from her and ask her a question.
If she doesn
26.
Three guys, one Irish, one English, and one Scottish are out walking along the beach together one day.
They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.
“I will give you each one wish, that’s three wishes in total,” says the Genie.
The Scott
Three guys, one Irish, one English, and one Scottish are out walking along the beach together one day.
They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.
“I will give you each one wish, that’s three wishes in total,” says the Genie.
The Scott
27.
A rich man comes home and immediately starts shouting at his wife.
“I’ve been looking at our expenses and they are through the roof! What have you got so much to spend on? From now on, things will need to be different!” “Different how?” the wife asked.
A rich man comes home and immediately starts shouting at his wife.
“I’ve been looking at our expenses and they are through the roof! What have you got so much to spend on? From now on, things will need to be different!” “Different how?” the wife asked.
28.
Charlie was installing a new door and found that one of the hinges was missing.
He asked his wife Mary if she would go to Home Depot and pick up a hinge.
Mary agreed to go. While she was waiting for the manager to finish serving a customer, her eye
Charlie was installing a new door and found that one of the hinges was missing.
He asked his wife Mary if she would go to Home Depot and pick up a hinge.
Mary agreed to go. While she was waiting for the manager to finish serving a customer, her eye
29.
A man is working in a d*ldo store, when a brunette walks in.
She asks him how much for the black d*ldo?
He replies $50 for the black one, $50 for the white one.
She leaves without purchasing anything.
A red head walks in and asks him how much
A man is working in a d*ldo store, when a brunette walks in.
She asks him how much for the black d*ldo?
He replies $50 for the black one, $50 for the white one.
She leaves without purchasing anything.
A red head walks in and asks him how much
30.
The interviewer asks him, “Are you allergic to anything?”He replies, “Yes, caffeineI can't drink coffee.”“OK, have you ever been in the military service?”“Yes,” he says, “I was in Afghanistan for one tour.”The interviewer says, “That will give you 5 extra
The interviewer asks him, “Are you allergic to anything?”He replies, “Yes, caffeineI can't drink coffee.”“OK, have you ever been in the military service?”“Yes,” he says, “I was in Afghanistan for one tour.”The interviewer says, “That will give you 5 extra
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