1.
Upon arriving at the pyramid, they are immediately told to leave as the site has already been excavatedThe friends, not willing to concede, look for a different way in and find an entrance never before used.It is through this entrance that they find a sec
Upon arriving at the pyramid, they are immediately told to leave as the site has already been excavatedThe friends, not willing to concede, look for a different way in and find an entrance never before used.It is through this entrance that they find a sec
2.
An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution.His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed…As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started
An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution.His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed…As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started
3.
A man and his wife are discussing what they think their son will be when he grows up.
“I have an idea,” says the father. He puts a ten-dollar bill, a bottle of whiskey, and a Bible on the coffee table.
“If he takes the money, he’ll be a banker. If h
A man and his wife are discussing what they think their son will be when he grows up.
“I have an idea,” says the father. He puts a ten-dollar bill, a bottle of whiskey, and a Bible on the coffee table.
“If he takes the money, he’ll be a banker. If h
4.
A very distinguished lady was on a plane arriving from Switzerland.She found herself seated next to a nice priest whom she asked:“Excuse me Father, could I ask a favor?”“Of course my child, What can I do for you?”“Here is the problem, I bought myself a ne
A very distinguished lady was on a plane arriving from Switzerland.She found herself seated next to a nice priest whom she asked:“Excuse me Father, could I ask a favor?”“Of course my child, What can I do for you?”“Here is the problem, I bought myself a ne
5.
He's wearing a t-shirt with bright lettering, “Mexican's have THREE problems.”Just a few moments later the Mexicans surround him and say, “Hey, you know what you're wearing is insulting?”The Texan responds, “This is your first problem: You're so easily o
He's wearing a t-shirt with bright lettering, “Mexican's have THREE problems.”Just a few moments later the Mexicans surround him and say, “Hey, you know what you're wearing is insulting?”The Texan responds, “This is your first problem: You're so easily o
6.
He's wearing a t-shirt with bright lettering, “Mexican's have THREE problems.”Just a few moments later the Mexicans surround him and say, “Hey, you know what you're wearing is insulting?”The Texan responds, “This is your first problem: You're so easily o
He's wearing a t-shirt with bright lettering, “Mexican's have THREE problems.”Just a few moments later the Mexicans surround him and say, “Hey, you know what you're wearing is insulting?”The Texan responds, “This is your first problem: You're so easily o
7.
A young farm girl answers the door and sees an older neighbor there.
Girl: “My father isn’t home, but I know what you want and I can help you.
You want our bull to service your cow.
Well, my father charges one hundred dollars for his best bull.”<
A young farm girl answers the door and sees an older neighbor there.
Girl: “My father isn’t home, but I know what you want and I can help you.
You want our bull to service your cow.
Well, my father charges one hundred dollars for his best bull.”<
8.
A couple of women were playing golf one afternoon.
One of the two teed off and watched as her ball headed directly toward a group of guys playing the next hole.
The ball struck one of the men, and he immediately fell to the ground and proceeded to r
A couple of women were playing golf one afternoon.
One of the two teed off and watched as her ball headed directly toward a group of guys playing the next hole.
The ball struck one of the men, and he immediately fell to the ground and proceeded to r
9.
Three men, an Scot, and an English man and a sumo wrestler were going to commit suicide by jumping of the top of a building.
The Scot jumped off and shouted “God save Scotland!”
The English man jumped off and shouted “God Save England!”
The Sumo
Three men, an Scot, and an English man and a sumo wrestler were going to commit suicide by jumping of the top of a building.
The Scot jumped off and shouted “God save Scotland!”
The English man jumped off and shouted “God Save England!”
The Sumo
10.
A man standing at a urinal notices that he’s being watched by a midget.
“Wow,” comments the midget.
“Those are the nicest balls I have ever seen!”
Surprised and flattered, the man thanks the midget and continues to pee.
Suddenly, the midget pu
A man standing at a urinal notices that he’s being watched by a midget.
“Wow,” comments the midget.
“Those are the nicest balls I have ever seen!”
Surprised and flattered, the man thanks the midget and continues to pee.
Suddenly, the midget pu
11.
A kindergarten teacher is having her birthday and three of her students decided to bring her a gift.The first students was little Timmy and his dad owned a Candy Store.Timmy walked up to his teacher and handed her a nice little gift wrapped boxThe teacher
A kindergarten teacher is having her birthday and three of her students decided to bring her a gift.The first students was little Timmy and his dad owned a Candy Store.Timmy walked up to his teacher and handed her a nice little gift wrapped boxThe teacher
12.
Married or not you should read this…When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell youShe sat down and ate quietlyAgain I observed the hurt in her eyes.Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouthB
Married or not you should read this…When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell youShe sat down and ate quietlyAgain I observed the hurt in her eyes.Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouthB
13.
A little boy was in a relative's weddingAs he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride's side and groom's side).While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roarSo it wen
A little boy was in a relative's weddingAs he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride's side and groom's side).While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roarSo it wen
14.
They decide to meet for tea and discuss their lives.The first older lady starts telling the second about all the wonderful things her husband has done for her over her life. “See this big ol' ring right here on my finger? My husband bought me that, beca
They decide to meet for tea and discuss their lives.The first older lady starts telling the second about all the wonderful things her husband has done for her over her life. “See this big ol' ring right here on my finger? My husband bought me that, beca
15.
On Little Johnny’s first day of school,
The teacher asked Johnny what 10+10 is and he said he doesn’t know.
So his teacher told him to go home and find out.
After school, he went to ask his dad but he was fixing the car.
Johnny: Daddy what is
On Little Johnny’s first day of school,
The teacher asked Johnny what 10+10 is and he said he doesn’t know.
So his teacher told him to go home and find out.
After school, he went to ask his dad but he was fixing the car.
Johnny: Daddy what is
16.
A man went to his lawyer and told him, “My neighbor owes me $500 and he doesn't want to pay upWhat should I do?”“Do you have any proof?” asked the lawyer.“Nope,” replied the man.“Okay, then write him a letter asking him for the $1000 he owed you,” said th
A man went to his lawyer and told him, “My neighbor owes me $500 and he doesn't want to pay upWhat should I do?”“Do you have any proof?” asked the lawyer.“Nope,” replied the man.“Okay, then write him a letter asking him for the $1000 he owed you,” said th
17.
The Mechanic Asks The Heart Surgeon… when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop.The surgeon was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his bike when the mechanic shouted across the garage, “Hey, Doc, can I ask you a quest
The Mechanic Asks The Heart Surgeon… when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop.The surgeon was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his bike when the mechanic shouted across the garage, “Hey, Doc, can I ask you a quest
18.
A teacher is writing on board and suddenly students laughsTeacher: “Why did you laugh?”Boy 1: “I saw a strap of your corset.”Teacher: “You are punished to stay out of school for one week.”Boy 2 laughed… Teacher: “Why did you laugh?”Boy 2: “I saw your cors
A teacher is writing on board and suddenly students laughsTeacher: “Why did you laugh?”Boy 1: “I saw a strap of your corset.”Teacher: “You are punished to stay out of school for one week.”Boy 2 laughed… Teacher: “Why did you laugh?”Boy 2: “I saw your cors
19.
An Italian woman was leaving a convenience store with her espresso when she noticed a most unusual Italian funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery:A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one.Behind th
An Italian woman was leaving a convenience store with her espresso when she noticed a most unusual Italian funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery:A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one.Behind th
20.
Three friends die in a car crash, and they find themselves at the Gates of Heaven.
Before entering, they are each asked a question by St. Peter himself.
“When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning you, what would you like to hea
Three friends die in a car crash, and they find themselves at the Gates of Heaven.
Before entering, they are each asked a question by St. Peter himself.
“When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning you, what would you like to hea
21.
Two guys, one old, one young, are pushing their carts around the grocery store when they collide.The old guy says to the young guy, “Sorry about thatI'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going.”The young guy says, “
Two guys, one old, one young, are pushing their carts around the grocery store when they collide.The old guy says to the young guy, “Sorry about thatI'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going.”The young guy says, “
22.
During my physical examination, my doctor asked me about my physical activity level.I described a typical day – “Well, yesterday afternoon, I took a five hour walk about 7 miles through some pretty rough terrain.I waded along the edge of a lakeI pushed my
During my physical examination, my doctor asked me about my physical activity level.I described a typical day – “Well, yesterday afternoon, I took a five hour walk about 7 miles through some pretty rough terrain.I waded along the edge of a lakeI pushed my
23.
Three High school girls go to the same bathroom every 4th period and each time they gossip and spill tea, and do their makeup, and each time before they leave they write a message on the mirror with their lipstick.Sometimes they write the name of the boy
Three High school girls go to the same bathroom every 4th period and each time they gossip and spill tea, and do their makeup, and each time before they leave they write a message on the mirror with their lipstick.Sometimes they write the name of the boy
24.
There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical.
After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired.
Many years later the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they wer
There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical.
After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired.
Many years later the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they wer
25.
A man was talking to one of his friends named Jim when another friend walked up to them.
The friend showed them that his head had become a giant pumpkin.
The two friends were awestruck as they watched their friend with the giant pumpkin head move st
A man was talking to one of his friends named Jim when another friend walked up to them.
The friend showed them that his head had become a giant pumpkin.
The two friends were awestruck as they watched their friend with the giant pumpkin head move st
26.
John O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me Life, between the legs of me wife!”That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, “I won the prize for the Best to
John O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me Life, between the legs of me wife!”That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, “I won the prize for the Best to
27.
A woman is at the funeral of her husband, everyone is going up to say kind words about him, when one man turns around to the wife and says,“Would you mind if i went up and said a few words?”She replied, “Of course not, please feel free to.”So the man walk
A woman is at the funeral of her husband, everyone is going up to say kind words about him, when one man turns around to the wife and says,“Would you mind if i went up and said a few words?”She replied, “Of course not, please feel free to.”So the man walk
28.
My uncle Jim is getting older, and he’s having trouble with his memory.
So he went to his doctor, and he started taking these pills to help his memory.
“Hey Uncle Jim,” I said, “what are those memory pills you’re taking called?” “Ahhhh…um….hmmm” he
My uncle Jim is getting older, and he’s having trouble with his memory.
So he went to his doctor, and he started taking these pills to help his memory.
“Hey Uncle Jim,” I said, “what are those memory pills you’re taking called?” “Ahhhh…um….hmmm” he
29.
A man in Sydney walked into the produce section of his local supermarket and asked to buy half a head of lettuceThe boy working in the produce department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce.The man was insistent that the boy ask the manage
A man in Sydney walked into the produce section of his local supermarket and asked to buy half a head of lettuceThe boy working in the produce department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce.The man was insistent that the boy ask the manage
30.
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question,“Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?”“None,” replied Johnny, “cause the rest wo
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question,“Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?”“None,” replied Johnny, “cause the rest wo
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