1.
Little Larry attended a horse auction with his father.He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest.After a few minutes, Larry asked, “Dad, why are you doing that?”His father replied
Little Larry attended a horse auction with his father.He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest.After a few minutes, Larry asked, “Dad, why are you doing that?”His father replied
2.
In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the Mystic delivered the grave news:“There's no easy way to tell you this, so I'll just be blunt.Prepare yourself to be a widowYour husband will die a violent and horrible death this year.”Visibly shak
In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the Mystic delivered the grave news:“There's no easy way to tell you this, so I'll just be blunt.Prepare yourself to be a widowYour husband will die a violent and horrible death this year.”Visibly shak
3.
Joe was moderately successful in his career, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered by incredible headaches.
When his personal hygiene and love life started to suffer, he sought medical help.
After being referred from one specialist to ano
Joe was moderately successful in his career, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered by incredible headaches.
When his personal hygiene and love life started to suffer, he sought medical help.
After being referred from one specialist to ano
4.
A climber fell off a cliff, and as he tumbled down, he caught hold of a small branch wedged in the rock.“Help! Is there anybody up there” he shouted.A majestic voice boomed through the gorge:“I will help you, my son, but first you must have faith in me.”“
A climber fell off a cliff, and as he tumbled down, he caught hold of a small branch wedged in the rock.“Help! Is there anybody up there” he shouted.A majestic voice boomed through the gorge:“I will help you, my son, but first you must have faith in me.”“
5.
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question,“Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?”“None,” replied Johnny, “cause the rest wo
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question,“Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?”“None,” replied Johnny, “cause the rest wo
6.
The policeman approaches the driver's door.“Is there a problem, Officer?”The policeman says, “Sir, you were speedingCan I see your licence please?”The driver responds, “I'd give it to you but I don't have one.”“You don't have one?”The man responds, “I los
The policeman approaches the driver's door.“Is there a problem, Officer?”The policeman says, “Sir, you were speedingCan I see your licence please?”The driver responds, “I'd give it to you but I don't have one.”“You don't have one?”The man responds, “I los
7.
A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passenger had been killed.
As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car.
The officer looked down at the monkey and said,
“I
A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passenger had been killed.
As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car.
The officer looked down at the monkey and said,
“I
8.
A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu.“I'm sorry, sir, but I am blind and can't read the menuJust bring me a dirty fork from a previous customerI'll smell it and
A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu.“I'm sorry, sir, but I am blind and can't read the menuJust bring me a dirty fork from a previous customerI'll smell it and
9.
I walked into a coffee shop on Halloween to find the woman behind the counterwith a bunch of sponges pinned to her uniform.“I'm assuming this is a costume, but just what are you supposed to be?” I asked.The waitress responded proudly, “I'm self-absorbed
I walked into a coffee shop on Halloween to find the woman behind the counterwith a bunch of sponges pinned to her uniform.“I'm assuming this is a costume, but just what are you supposed to be?” I asked.The waitress responded proudly, “I'm self-absorbed
10.
.and her brother named themA couple of weeks later she finally wakes up and asks the doctor, “Where is my baby?!”The doctor replies, “They are both fine, you have a beautiful boy and girl.Your husband went back to work and you were out so long that your b
.and her brother named themA couple of weeks later she finally wakes up and asks the doctor, “Where is my baby?!”The doctor replies, “They are both fine, you have a beautiful boy and girl.Your husband went back to work and you were out so long that your b
11.
After their baby was born, the panicked Jewish father went to see the obstetrician Dr. Cohen.
“Doctor,” Mr. Spiegel said, “I don’t mind telling you, but I’m a little upset because my daughter has red hair.
She can’t possibly be mine.”
“Nonsense,”
After their baby was born, the panicked Jewish father went to see the obstetrician Dr. Cohen.
“Doctor,” Mr. Spiegel said, “I don’t mind telling you, but I’m a little upset because my daughter has red hair.
She can’t possibly be mine.”
“Nonsense,”
12.
An attorney telephoned the governor just after midnight, insisting that he talk to him regarding a matter of utmost urgency.An aide eventually agreed to wake up the governor.“So, what is it?” grumbled the governor.“Judge Gerber has just died” said the att
An attorney telephoned the governor just after midnight, insisting that he talk to him regarding a matter of utmost urgency.An aide eventually agreed to wake up the governor.“So, what is it?” grumbled the governor.“Judge Gerber has just died” said the att
13.
Unlike English, Spanish and many other languages have masculine and feminine nouns, which determine whether you say “el” for masculine or “la” for feminine.So the committee divided into two groups to each come up with the best four arguments for computers
Unlike English, Spanish and many other languages have masculine and feminine nouns, which determine whether you say “el” for masculine or “la” for feminine.So the committee divided into two groups to each come up with the best four arguments for computers
14.
Nickname
If Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle go out for lunch, they will call each other Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle.
But if Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack go out for a brewsky, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla,
Nickname
If Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle go out for lunch, they will call each other Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle.
But if Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack go out for a brewsky, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla,
15.
The devil pulls up his file on his computer and sighs, “You've been a naughty boy haven't you? Extortion, gambling, prostitutes and even murder!”The lawyer hangs his head in shame and the devil pats him lightly on the shoulder.“I'm a fair guy, what I'm go
The devil pulls up his file on his computer and sighs, “You've been a naughty boy haven't you? Extortion, gambling, prostitutes and even murder!”The lawyer hangs his head in shame and the devil pats him lightly on the shoulder.“I'm a fair guy, what I'm go
16.
Two friends went to interview for the same job.
They were both in the waiting area when the first friend got called for his interview.
The second friend gave him a thumbs-up as he headed into the interview room.
The interviewer reviewed the man’s
Two friends went to interview for the same job.
They were both in the waiting area when the first friend got called for his interview.
The second friend gave him a thumbs-up as he headed into the interview room.
The interviewer reviewed the man’s
17.
One day a horse trader, a foreigner, came to the court of Krishnadeva Raya and told him he had some fine horses for sale.The emperor offered to buy them.The man took an advance of 5000 gold coins and promising to return with the horses in two days, went a
One day a horse trader, a foreigner, came to the court of Krishnadeva Raya and told him he had some fine horses for sale.The emperor offered to buy them.The man took an advance of 5000 gold coins and promising to return with the horses in two days, went a
18.
The subway car was packed.
It was rush hour, and many people were forced to stand.
One particularly cramped woman turned to the man behind her and said,
“Sir, if you don’t stop poking me with your thing, I’m going to the cops!”
“I don’t know w
The subway car was packed.
It was rush hour, and many people were forced to stand.
One particularly cramped woman turned to the man behind her and said,
“Sir, if you don’t stop poking me with your thing, I’m going to the cops!”
“I don’t know w
19.
A Prisoner is digging a tunnel out of prisonHe is slowly making progress day by day, but with just a spoon for a shovel it seems like an impossible task.After numerous years of blood and sweat, he finally manages to reach the surface outside of the prison
A Prisoner is digging a tunnel out of prisonHe is slowly making progress day by day, but with just a spoon for a shovel it seems like an impossible task.After numerous years of blood and sweat, he finally manages to reach the surface outside of the prison
20.
A violent tropical storm enveloped a sailing yacht off the southern coast of Florida lasting all night and most of the next morning.
As the sky cleared and the seas calmed, the people on the yacht realized they were grounded on a coral reef about a mil
A violent tropical storm enveloped a sailing yacht off the southern coast of Florida lasting all night and most of the next morning.
As the sky cleared and the seas calmed, the people on the yacht realized they were grounded on a coral reef about a mil
21.
After going through the line at a crowded mall cafeteria,The three rambunctious teenage boys found they were forced to share a table with a kindly looking old lady.One of the lads decided to have a bit of fun at the woman's expense and, nudging one of his
After going through the line at a crowded mall cafeteria,The three rambunctious teenage boys found they were forced to share a table with a kindly looking old lady.One of the lads decided to have a bit of fun at the woman's expense and, nudging one of his
22.
Judy and Ted got married and had 13 children, then Ted died of Heart Disease:Judy married again and she and Bob had 7 more children.Bob was killed in a car accident 12 years later:Again Judy remarried and this time she and John had 5 more childrenJudy fin
Judy and Ted got married and had 13 children, then Ted died of Heart Disease:Judy married again and she and Bob had 7 more children.Bob was killed in a car accident 12 years later:Again Judy remarried and this time she and John had 5 more childrenJudy fin
23.
The young wife went into labor while her husband was overseas serving in the war.The next day he got the news that his wife had delivered twins.He got to a phone and called her right away.“Oh honey, I'm so happy,” he said“Who took you to the hospital?”“Yo
The young wife went into labor while her husband was overseas serving in the war.The next day he got the news that his wife had delivered twins.He got to a phone and called her right away.“Oh honey, I'm so happy,” he said“Who took you to the hospital?”“Yo
24.
Husband and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.Husband gets up in a rage and says, “And you are not good in bed either,” and storms out of the house.After sometime he realizes he was awful and decides to make amends and rings her up.She co
Husband and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.Husband gets up in a rage and says, “And you are not good in bed either,” and storms out of the house.After sometime he realizes he was awful and decides to make amends and rings her up.She co
25.
The wife checked her husband's phone and found these names:‘The tender one'‘The amazing one'‘Lady of my dreams,She got angry and called the first number to find out that was his mother.Then she called the second number to which his sister replied.When she
The wife checked her husband's phone and found these names:‘The tender one'‘The amazing one'‘Lady of my dreams,She got angry and called the first number to find out that was his mother.Then she called the second number to which his sister replied.When she
26.
An elderly couple was just settled down for bed when the old man realized he left the lights on in the greenhouse in the back yard.Then they heard voices.Three men had broken into the greenhouse.Scared, they called the police.The dispatcher replied, he wo
An elderly couple was just settled down for bed when the old man realized he left the lights on in the greenhouse in the back yard.Then they heard voices.Three men had broken into the greenhouse.Scared, they called the police.The dispatcher replied, he wo
27.
They planned to stay at the very same hotel where they had spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.Because of their hectic schedules, the husband flew down to Florida one day ahead of his wife.After he had checked in to the hotel, he noticed that there was
They planned to stay at the very same hotel where they had spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.Because of their hectic schedules, the husband flew down to Florida one day ahead of his wife.After he had checked in to the hotel, he noticed that there was
28.
A couple were going out for the eveningThey'd gotten ready, all dressed up, cat put out, etc.The taxi arrives, and as the couple got out, the cat shoots back in.They don't want the cat shut in the house, so the wife goes out to the taxi while the husband
A couple were going out for the eveningThey'd gotten ready, all dressed up, cat put out, etc.The taxi arrives, and as the couple got out, the cat shoots back in.They don't want the cat shut in the house, so the wife goes out to the taxi while the husband
29.
One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, “If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I'll quit!”Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code wordSomeone who had committed adultery would say they had “fallen”.This seemed to satisfy the old priest a
One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, “If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I'll quit!”Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code wordSomeone who had committed adultery would say they had “fallen”.This seemed to satisfy the old priest a
30.
Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die! This is so pricelessand so easy to see happening – customer service, being what it is today!A lady died this past January, and ANZ bank billed her for February andMarch for their annual service charges
Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die! This is so pricelessand so easy to see happening – customer service, being what it is today!A lady died this past January, and ANZ bank billed her for February andMarch for their annual service charges
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