1.
I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter.
She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth.
I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.
“Why?” my daughter asked.
“Because it’s been on the ground, you don’t know where it’s been, it’s dirty, and probably has germs.” I replied.
At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked,
“Momma, how do you know all this stuff, you are so smart.”
I was thinking quickly.
I said: “All moms know this stuff. It’s on the Mom Test. You have to know it, or they don’t let you be a Mom.”
We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information.
“OH… I get it!” she beamed,
“So if you don’t pass the test you have to be the dad.”
“Exactly.” I replied back with a big smile on my face.
A priest and a nun are on their way
The Devil invites Mike Tyson to hell
I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter.
She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth.
I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.
“Why?” my daughter asked.
“Because it’s been on the ground, you don’t know where it’s been, it’s dirty, and probably has germs.” I replied.
At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked,
“Momma, how do you know all this stuff, you are so smart.”
I was thinking quickly.
I said: “All moms know this stuff. It’s on the Mom Test. You have to know it, or they don’t let you be a Mom.”
We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information.
“OH… I get it!” she beamed,
“So if you don’t pass the test you have to be the dad.”
“Exactly.” I replied back with a big smile on my face.
A priest and a nun are on their way
The Devil invites Mike Tyson to hell
2.
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer.
He only brought enough money for one beer though.
As he’s drinking his beer, which was quite expensive, he realizes how bad he has to go to the bathroom.
Not wanting anyone to drink his expensive beer, he takes out a card and writes on it, “I spit in this beer”, and walks to the bathroom.
When he comes back about 15 minutes later, there’s another card next to his beer saying, “I spit in it too.”
A woman is alone at home
Two women were comparing notes
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer.
He only brought enough money for one beer though.
As he’s drinking his beer, which was quite expensive, he realizes how bad he has to go to the bathroom.
Not wanting anyone to drink his expensive beer, he takes out a card and writes on it, “I spit in this beer”, and walks to the bathroom.
When he comes back about 15 minutes later, there’s another card next to his beer saying, “I spit in it too.”
A woman is alone at home
Two women were comparing notes
3.
An elderly man went to a doctor with multiple complaints.
“I see spots before my eyes,” he said.
“It’s due to old age,” said the doctor.
“No food agrees with me,” said the man.
“That too is due to old age,” said the doctor.
“The digestive system becomes weaker as we grow older.”
“My back is giving me trouble,” persisted the man.
“Sometimes the pain becomes unbearable.”
“Old age,” said the doctor.
This was too much for the man.
“Why do you go on saying ‘old age, old age’,” he screamed.
“If you cannot cure me, say so. I’ll go elsewhere.”
“See how easily you lost your temper,” said the doctor.
“That is another characteristic of old age.”
At last, the old man slaps him, and the doctor asks,
“Why did you slap me?”
Old man said “This is also due to old age, you see”
A man was leaving a convenience store
A Amish boy and his father were in a mall
An elderly man went to a doctor with multiple complaints.
“I see spots before my eyes,” he said.
“It’s due to old age,” said the doctor.
“No food agrees with me,” said the man.
“That too is due to old age,” said the doctor.
“The digestive system becomes weaker as we grow older.”
“My back is giving me trouble,” persisted the man.
“Sometimes the pain becomes unbearable.”
“Old age,” said the doctor.
This was too much for the man.
“Why do you go on saying ‘old age, old age’,” he screamed.
“If you cannot cure me, say so. I’ll go elsewhere.”
“See how easily you lost your temper,” said the doctor.
“That is another characteristic of old age.”
At last, the old man slaps him, and the doctor asks,
“Why did you slap me?”
Old man said “This is also due to old age, you see”
A man was leaving a convenience store
A Amish boy and his father were in a mall
4.
A farmer from the cotton fields of Central Texas dies and goes to hell
Why? Well, only his wife, God and the Devil knows!
Once there, the Devil notices that this farmer is not suffering like the rest there are he checks his gauges and sees that it’s 95 degrees and about 80% humidity.
So he goes to the farmer and asks why he’s so happy.
The farmer replies “I like it here It’s just like plowing my fields in June.”
Unhappy with the farmer’s response, the devil goes back to his controls and turns the temperature up to 105 degrees and 90% humidity.
After making the adjustment, the devil goes looking for the farmer finding him just as happy as can be, the Devil is very frustrated and asks the farmer again why he’s so happy.
“This is even beter now! It’s like pulling weeds in the fields during July!” says the farmer.
The Devil, now quite upset and deciding to make the farmer really suffer, returns to his controls and cranks the heat up to 115 degrees and the humidity to 100% “Now we’ll see if that farmer is smiling!” he thinks as he goes looking for the farmer again.
But he found him sitting on the ground, happy as ever now the Devil is madder than before.
When he asks the farmer why he’s happy now, the farmer answers, “This is great, it’s just like driving the picker in August!”
That was enough for the Devil running back to his controls, he turns the temperature down to a freezing 10 degrees below zero.
Within a matter of minutes, the pools of molten brimstone begin to ice over
“Let’s see what what farmer has to say about this,” snickers the Devil to himself.
To his surprise, the Devil returns to find the farmer running around and jumping for joy, yelling at the top of his lungs: “The Cowboys won the Super Bowl! I can’t believe it! The Cowboys won the Super Bowl!”
The Diaries Of A Married Couple
A Blonde Guy walks into a bar
A farmer from the cotton fields of Central Texas dies and goes to hell
Why? Well, only his wife, God and the Devil knows!
Once there, the Devil notices that this farmer is not suffering like the rest there are he checks his gauges and sees that it’s 95 degrees and about 80% humidity.
So he goes to the farmer and asks why he’s so happy.
The farmer replies “I like it here It’s just like plowing my fields in June.”
Unhappy with the farmer’s response, the devil goes back to his controls and turns the temperature up to 105 degrees and 90% humidity.
After making the adjustment, the devil goes looking for the farmer finding him just as happy as can be, the Devil is very frustrated and asks the farmer again why he’s so happy.
“This is even beter now! It’s like pulling weeds in the fields during July!” says the farmer.
The Devil, now quite upset and deciding to make the farmer really suffer, returns to his controls and cranks the heat up to 115 degrees and the humidity to 100% “Now we’ll see if that farmer is smiling!” he thinks as he goes looking for the farmer again.
But he found him sitting on the ground, happy as ever now the Devil is madder than before.
When he asks the farmer why he’s happy now, the farmer answers, “This is great, it’s just like driving the picker in August!”
That was enough for the Devil running back to his controls, he turns the temperature down to a freezing 10 degrees below zero.
Within a matter of minutes, the pools of molten brimstone begin to ice over
“Let’s see what what farmer has to say about this,” snickers the Devil to himself.
To his surprise, the Devil returns to find the farmer running around and jumping for joy, yelling at the top of his lungs: “The Cowboys won the Super Bowl! I can’t believe it! The Cowboys won the Super Bowl!”
The Diaries Of A Married Couple
A Blonde Guy walks into a bar
5.
A woman goes into a store to buy a fishing rod and reel.
She doesn’t know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the register.
There is a store employee standing there with dark shades on.
She says, “Excuse me sir… can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?”
He says , “Ma’am I’m blind but if you drop it on the counter I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound that it makes.”
She didn’t believe him, but dropped it on the counter anyway.
He said “That’s a 6′ graphite rod with Zebco 202 reel and 10 lb. test line… It’s a good all around rod and reel and it’s $20.00.”
She says, “That’s amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter.
I think it’s what I’m looking for so I’ll take it.”
He walks behind the counter to the register.
And in the meantime the woman farts.
At first she is embarrassed but then realizes that there is no way he could tell it was her… being blind he wouldn’t know that she was the only person around.
He rings up the sale and says, “That will be $25.50.”
She says, “But didn’t you say it was $20.00?”
He says, “Yes ma’am, the rod and reel is $20.00, the duck call is $3.00, and the catfish stink bait is $2.50!”
A pregnant woman walking across the street
A woman had twin boys
A woman goes into a store to buy a fishing rod and reel.
She doesn’t know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the register.
There is a store employee standing there with dark shades on.
She says, “Excuse me sir… can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?”
He says , “Ma’am I’m blind but if you drop it on the counter I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound that it makes.”
She didn’t believe him, but dropped it on the counter anyway.
He said “That’s a 6′ graphite rod with Zebco 202 reel and 10 lb. test line… It’s a good all around rod and reel and it’s $20.00.”
She says, “That’s amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter.
I think it’s what I’m looking for so I’ll take it.”
He walks behind the counter to the register.
And in the meantime the woman farts.
At first she is embarrassed but then realizes that there is no way he could tell it was her… being blind he wouldn’t know that she was the only person around.
He rings up the sale and says, “That will be $25.50.”
She says, “But didn’t you say it was $20.00?”
He says, “Yes ma’am, the rod and reel is $20.00, the duck call is $3.00, and the catfish stink bait is $2.50!”
A pregnant woman walking across the street
A woman had twin boys
6.
Three Engineers are Discussing God
The structural engineer says “I think God must’ve been a structural engineer.
The musculoskeletal system is perfectly designed to allow us to walk upright.”
The electrical engineer says “Interesting, but you are obviously wrong. God is an electrical engineer.
The nervous system is so complex and finely tuned, He couldn’t be anything else!”
The civil engineer turns to them both and declares “you’re both wrong.
Only a civil engineer would run a sewage line through a recreational area.”
A man’s walking home late at night
A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest
Three Engineers are Discussing God
The structural engineer says “I think God must’ve been a structural engineer.
The musculoskeletal system is perfectly designed to allow us to walk upright.”
The electrical engineer says “Interesting, but you are obviously wrong. God is an electrical engineer.
The nervous system is so complex and finely tuned, He couldn’t be anything else!”
The civil engineer turns to them both and declares “you’re both wrong.
Only a civil engineer would run a sewage line through a recreational area.”
A man’s walking home late at night
A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest
7.
A guy sits down in a movie theater and notices that the man in front of him has brought his dog and it’s sitting in the seat next to him.
He thinks it’s unusual, but he likes dogs so he decides that as long as it’s not a distraction he won’t mention it.
The movie starts and pretty soon there’s a funny part.
The dog makes some low woofing sounds that seem like laughter.
In a little while there’s a sad part and the dog appears to be weeping.
This continues throughout the film and the man sitting behind the dog is astounded.
When the lights come up he taps the dog’s owner on the shoulder and tells him,
“I gotta say, and I know it sounds weird, but it seemed like your dog really enjoyed this movie.”
The dog owner looks at the dog and nods.
“I know, it really is weird,” he says,
“because he absolutely hated the book.”
A pig walks into a bar and orders
A guys walking down the street
A guy sits down in a movie theater and notices that the man in front of him has brought his dog and it’s sitting in the seat next to him.
He thinks it’s unusual, but he likes dogs so he decides that as long as it’s not a distraction he won’t mention it.
The movie starts and pretty soon there’s a funny part.
The dog makes some low woofing sounds that seem like laughter.
In a little while there’s a sad part and the dog appears to be weeping.
This continues throughout the film and the man sitting behind the dog is astounded.
When the lights come up he taps the dog’s owner on the shoulder and tells him,
“I gotta say, and I know it sounds weird, but it seemed like your dog really enjoyed this movie.”
The dog owner looks at the dog and nods.
“I know, it really is weird,” he says,
“because he absolutely hated the book.”
A pig walks into a bar and orders
A guys walking down the street
8.
Sally was driving home from one of her business trips, in Northern Arizona, when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.
As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride.
With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.
Resuming the journey, Sally tried – in vain – to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman.
The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally.
“What in bag?” asked the old woman.
Sally looked down at the brown bag and said: “It’s a bottle of wine, I got it for my husband.”
The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two then, speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said: “Good trade.”
A confused father goes to buy a Barbie Doll
A work-related accident claim
Sally was driving home from one of her business trips, in Northern Arizona, when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.
As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride.
With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.
Resuming the journey, Sally tried – in vain – to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman.
The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally.
“What in bag?” asked the old woman.
Sally looked down at the brown bag and said: “It’s a bottle of wine, I got it for my husband.”
The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two then, speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said: “Good trade.”
A confused father goes to buy a Barbie Doll
A work-related accident claim
9.
A blonde struggling with her weight visited her doctor for advice.
He suggested she run ten miles a day for thirty days, assuring her she’d shed twenty pounds.
After diligently following the plan, she was thrilled to see the results and called to thank the doctor.
But before hanging up, she asked,
“One last thing—how do I get back home? I’m 300 miles away now!”
A elderly woman called 911 on her cell phone
Three drunkards were walking down
A blonde struggling with her weight visited her doctor for advice.
He suggested she run ten miles a day for thirty days, assuring her she’d shed twenty pounds.
After diligently following the plan, she was thrilled to see the results and called to thank the doctor.
But before hanging up, she asked,
“One last thing—how do I get back home? I’m 300 miles away now!”
A elderly woman called 911 on her cell phone
Three drunkards were walking down
10.
A MAN IS LYING ON THE BEACH
WEARING NOTHING BUT A CAP OVER HIS CROTCH
A WOMAN PASSING BY REMARKS IF YOU WERE ANY SORT OF A GENTLEMAN YOU WOULD LIFT YOUR HAT TO A LADY
HE REPLIES IF YOU WERE ANY SORT OF A HOT LADY THE HAT WOULD LIFT BY ITSELF.
A Japanese, a Russian, a Filipino, and an American went to test the magic swimming pool
Woman asked where’s your Ferrari?
A MAN IS LYING ON THE BEACH
WEARING NOTHING BUT A CAP OVER HIS CROTCH
A WOMAN PASSING BY REMARKS IF YOU WERE ANY SORT OF A GENTLEMAN YOU WOULD LIFT YOUR HAT TO A LADY
HE REPLIES IF YOU WERE ANY SORT OF A HOT LADY THE HAT WOULD LIFT BY ITSELF.
A Japanese, a Russian, a Filipino, and an American went to test the magic swimming pool
Woman asked where’s your Ferrari?
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11.
Harry was sick and tired of being constantly badgered by his wife Barbara for spending so much time at the bar.
Hoping it would help matters, Harry invited Barbara along with him.
“So what would you like?”
Harry cordially asked, as she took her seat next to him.
“Oh I don’t know” Barbara replied, “I guess I’ll take the same thing as you.”
“OK” said Harry to the bartender, “we’ll take two Johnny Walker’s on the rocks!”
Barbara barely took a sip of the drink before she started gagging “Oh my gosh! Get me a cup of water! This stuff is horrible! How do you drink this garbage?”
A man wasn’t feeling well
The hospital staff kept telling Jim
Harry was sick and tired of being constantly badgered by his wife Barbara for spending so much time at the bar.
Hoping it would help matters, Harry invited Barbara along with him.
“So what would you like?”
Harry cordially asked, as she took her seat next to him.
“Oh I don’t know” Barbara replied, “I guess I’ll take the same thing as you.”
“OK” said Harry to the bartender, “we’ll take two Johnny Walker’s on the rocks!”
Barbara barely took a sip of the drink before she started gagging “Oh my gosh! Get me a cup of water! This stuff is horrible! How do you drink this garbage?”
A man wasn’t feeling well
The hospital staff kept telling Jim
12.
Four guys are playing golf together and talking about how successful their sons are.
The first says, “My son is so successful, he’s VP of his company and just gave his best friend a car.”
The second says, “That’s nothing, my son is CEO of his company and just gave his best friend a house.”
The third says, “Well, my son owns 3 highly profitable companies and just gave his best friend a jet.”
They look expectantly at the last guy who says, “My son is a lesbian escort who gets showered with love and admiration. He just got a car, a house, and a jet from three of his clients.”
Two elderly ladies are sitting
The visiting church school supervisor asks
Four guys are playing golf together and talking about how successful their sons are.
The first says, “My son is so successful, he’s VP of his company and just gave his best friend a car.”
The second says, “That’s nothing, my son is CEO of his company and just gave his best friend a house.”
The third says, “Well, my son owns 3 highly profitable companies and just gave his best friend a jet.”
They look expectantly at the last guy who says, “My son is a lesbian escort who gets showered with love and admiration. He just got a car, a house, and a jet from three of his clients.”
Two elderly ladies are sitting
The visiting church school supervisor asks
13.
The first guy goes in and kicks as., best job interview he’s ever done in his life end of the interview comes around,
the interviewer says: “By the way, do you notice anything strange about me?”
“Yeah,” says the guy… “You don’t have any EARS, man!”
“I’m sorry, says the interviewer, but I’m very sensitive about my ears, I’m afraid you’re not the right person for this job, get the hell out of my office!”
The second guy goes in, it’s the same thing, he is doing amazing, best job interview ever
Talks himself into 20K a year more than the advertised salary end of the interview comes around,
the interviewer says: “By the way, do you notice anything strange about me?”
“Yeah,” says the guy… “You don’t have any EARS, man!”
“I’m sorry, says the interviewer, but I’m very sensitive about my ears, I’m afraid you’re not the right person for this job, get out of my office!”
So the third guy’s about to go in, but the first and second guy stop him and warn him “Hey, I don’t care how good you’re doing, how comfortable you feel, don’t say ANYTHING about his ears, he’ll throw you right out!”
So the third guy goes in Again, same thing, an AMAZING interview end of the interview comes around,
the interviewer says: “By the way, do you notice anything strange about me?”
Third guy looks real close, squints his eyes a bit and says “Yeah
You wear contact lenses, don’t you?”
“WOW!” says the interviewer, “That is REALLY perceptive of you! How did you know?”
“Well…” Says guy three…
“You sure as hell couldn’t wear glasses!”
A anthropologist studying the habits
A little turtle
The first guy goes in and kicks as., best job interview he’s ever done in his life end of the interview comes around,
the interviewer says: “By the way, do you notice anything strange about me?”
“Yeah,” says the guy… “You don’t have any EARS, man!”
“I’m sorry, says the interviewer, but I’m very sensitive about my ears, I’m afraid you’re not the right person for this job, get the hell out of my office!”
The second guy goes in, it’s the same thing, he is doing amazing, best job interview ever
Talks himself into 20K a year more than the advertised salary end of the interview comes around,
the interviewer says: “By the way, do you notice anything strange about me?”
“Yeah,” says the guy… “You don’t have any EARS, man!”
“I’m sorry, says the interviewer, but I’m very sensitive about my ears, I’m afraid you’re not the right person for this job, get out of my office!”
So the third guy’s about to go in, but the first and second guy stop him and warn him “Hey, I don’t care how good you’re doing, how comfortable you feel, don’t say ANYTHING about his ears, he’ll throw you right out!”
So the third guy goes in Again, same thing, an AMAZING interview end of the interview comes around,
the interviewer says: “By the way, do you notice anything strange about me?”
Third guy looks real close, squints his eyes a bit and says “Yeah
You wear contact lenses, don’t you?”
“WOW!” says the interviewer, “That is REALLY perceptive of you! How did you know?”
“Well…” Says guy three…
“You sure as hell couldn’t wear glasses!”
A anthropologist studying the habits
A little turtle
14.
A husband said to his wife, “Honey, I have invited a friend home for supper tonight.”
As expected, the wife wasn’t happy at being imposed upon during what she imagined to be a quiet evening.
His wife replied, “What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I didn’t have time to go shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don’t feel like cooking a fancy meal tonight!”
The husband said, “I know all that.”
The wife looked on at him with incredulity.
She wondered when she would ever get a little peace.
“Why in the world did you invite your friend for supper tonight?” asked the wife.
The guy answered, “Because the poor fool is thinking about getting married.”
A elderly couple were having an elegant dinner
A couple that had been married
A husband said to his wife, “Honey, I have invited a friend home for supper tonight.”
As expected, the wife wasn’t happy at being imposed upon during what she imagined to be a quiet evening.
His wife replied, “What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I didn’t have time to go shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don’t feel like cooking a fancy meal tonight!”
The husband said, “I know all that.”
The wife looked on at him with incredulity.
She wondered when she would ever get a little peace.
“Why in the world did you invite your friend for supper tonight?” asked the wife.
The guy answered, “Because the poor fool is thinking about getting married.”
A elderly couple were having an elegant dinner
A couple that had been married
15.
While shopping in a food store, two nuns happened to pass by the beer, wine, and liquor section.
One asked the other if she would like a beer.
The second nun answered that, indeed, it would be very nice to have one, but that she would feel uncomfortable purchasing it.
The first nun replied that she would handle it without a problem.
She picked up a six-pack and took it to the cashier.
The cashier was surprised, so the nun said, “This is for washing our hair.”
Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under the counter and put a package of pretzel sticks in the bag with the beer.
“The curlers are on me.”
A man goes into the confession booth
Two men are organizing a herd of deer
While shopping in a food store, two nuns happened to pass by the beer, wine, and liquor section.
One asked the other if she would like a beer.
The second nun answered that, indeed, it would be very nice to have one, but that she would feel uncomfortable purchasing it.
The first nun replied that she would handle it without a problem.
She picked up a six-pack and took it to the cashier.
The cashier was surprised, so the nun said, “This is for washing our hair.”
Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under the counter and put a package of pretzel sticks in the bag with the beer.
“The curlers are on me.”
A man goes into the confession booth
Two men are organizing a herd of deer
16.
A young female teacher, good looking and wearing a short and tight skirt, was giving an assignment to her class one day.
It was a big assignment, so she started writing high up on the whiteboard.
Suddenly, one boy in the class giggles.
She quickly turns and asks:
“What’s so funny, Michael?”
“Sorry teacher, but I just saw one of your garters,” he answers.
Get out of my classroom,” she yells, “I don’t want to see you for three days.”
The teacher turns back to the whiteboard after adjusting her skirt.
Realizing she had forgotten to title the assignment, she reaches to the very top to write it.
Suddenly there is an even louder giggle from another student.
She turns again and shouts:
“What’s so funny, Billy?”
“Well miss, I just saw both of your garters.”
His days are counted she, now furious, screams as loud as she can:
“Get out of my classroom!!” This time the punishment gets more severe.
“I don’t want to see you for three weeks.”
She fixes her skirt again.
Embarrassed and frustrated, she drops her marker when she turns towards the board, so she bends over to pick it up.
This time one of the kids bursts out laughing.
The teacher quickly turns around and sees little Johnny packing his things and heading for the classroom’s door.
“Where do you think you are going?” She asks.
Johnny turns around, still shocked, and answers: “Well, from what I just saw, my school days are pretty much over.”
A man and a woman meet
A blonde woman walking down the street
A young female teacher, good looking and wearing a short and tight skirt, was giving an assignment to her class one day.
It was a big assignment, so she started writing high up on the whiteboard.
Suddenly, one boy in the class giggles.
She quickly turns and asks:
“What’s so funny, Michael?”
“Sorry teacher, but I just saw one of your garters,” he answers.
Get out of my classroom,” she yells, “I don’t want to see you for three days.”
The teacher turns back to the whiteboard after adjusting her skirt.
Realizing she had forgotten to title the assignment, she reaches to the very top to write it.
Suddenly there is an even louder giggle from another student.
She turns again and shouts:
“What’s so funny, Billy?”
“Well miss, I just saw both of your garters.”
His days are counted she, now furious, screams as loud as she can:
“Get out of my classroom!!” This time the punishment gets more severe.
“I don’t want to see you for three weeks.”
She fixes her skirt again.
Embarrassed and frustrated, she drops her marker when she turns towards the board, so she bends over to pick it up.
This time one of the kids bursts out laughing.
The teacher quickly turns around and sees little Johnny packing his things and heading for the classroom’s door.
“Where do you think you are going?” She asks.
Johnny turns around, still shocked, and answers: “Well, from what I just saw, my school days are pretty much over.”
A man and a woman meet
A blonde woman walking down the street
17.
A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar.
They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together.
They get back to her place, and as she shows him around her apartment, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears.
Hundreds of small bears on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones on a shelf a little higher and huge bears on the top shelf along the wall.
The man is kind of surprised that this woman would have a collection of teddy bears, especially one that’s so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her.
After a night of passion, as they are lying together in the after glow the man rolls over and asks, smiling, “Well, how was it?”
The woman says, “You can have any prize from the BOTTOM shelf.”
A Kurdish man goes to a store
Two guys walking through the woods
A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar.
They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together.
They get back to her place, and as she shows him around her apartment, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears.
Hundreds of small bears on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones on a shelf a little higher and huge bears on the top shelf along the wall.
The man is kind of surprised that this woman would have a collection of teddy bears, especially one that’s so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her.
After a night of passion, as they are lying together in the after glow the man rolls over and asks, smiling, “Well, how was it?”
The woman says, “You can have any prize from the BOTTOM shelf.”
A Kurdish man goes to a store
Two guys walking through the woods
18.
Bob was in a terrible motorcycle accident and his legs weren’t in great shape, to say the least.
After a couple of weeks of therapy, it soon became clear to the Doctor that they were just pushing off the inevitable.
Due however, to Bob’s frail condition, the Doctor was afraid to give him the bad news.
A Instead, he gave the sorry job to Bob’s wife of 40 years, hoping that she would know how to break the bad news to him ever so slowly and gently.
“Honey”, said Bob’s wife Eva the next morning, “I’ve got good news and bad news, which one would you like to hear first?”
Bob, always in a morbid state, responded in his usual grumpy voice, “what do I care? Just give me the bad news!”
“Well dear,” said Eva cupping Bob’s hand with her two hands, “I hate to have to tell you this, but it seems like your legs are going to have to be taken off.”
Bob, barely able to hold his voice from cracking croaked out, “Eva, what’s the good news?”
“The good news” said Eva happily, “is that that the gardener that was in here just before, said he may be interested in buying your slippers from you!”
Sam goes to the doctor
Anne was on her deathbed breathing
Bob was in a terrible motorcycle accident and his legs weren’t in great shape, to say the least.
After a couple of weeks of therapy, it soon became clear to the Doctor that they were just pushing off the inevitable.
Due however, to Bob’s frail condition, the Doctor was afraid to give him the bad news.
A Instead, he gave the sorry job to Bob’s wife of 40 years, hoping that she would know how to break the bad news to him ever so slowly and gently.
“Honey”, said Bob’s wife Eva the next morning, “I’ve got good news and bad news, which one would you like to hear first?”
Bob, always in a morbid state, responded in his usual grumpy voice, “what do I care? Just give me the bad news!”
“Well dear,” said Eva cupping Bob’s hand with her two hands, “I hate to have to tell you this, but it seems like your legs are going to have to be taken off.”
Bob, barely able to hold his voice from cracking croaked out, “Eva, what’s the good news?”
“The good news” said Eva happily, “is that that the gardener that was in here just before, said he may be interested in buying your slippers from you!”
Sam goes to the doctor
Anne was on her deathbed breathing
19.
One day an old lady and an old man were sitting on their porch when the old lady says “Hey pa, why don’t you run down to the restaurant and get us some ice cream.”
Pa said, “OK I will go right now.”
Ma told him that she had better write it down for him, because he always forgets.
He said no he would be fine, so off he went to the restaurant.
When he got back he handed her a hamburger and she said “Dang it pa, I knew you would forget, I told you to get mustard on mine!”
A man went to his doctor and told
Two men are drinking in a bar
One day an old lady and an old man were sitting on their porch when the old lady says “Hey pa, why don’t you run down to the restaurant and get us some ice cream.”
Pa said, “OK I will go right now.”
Ma told him that she had better write it down for him, because he always forgets.
He said no he would be fine, so off he went to the restaurant.
When he got back he handed her a hamburger and she said “Dang it pa, I knew you would forget, I told you to get mustard on mine!”
A man went to his doctor and told
Two men are drinking in a bar
20.
Sally walked in to the Dentist office to make an appointment.
“How much do you charge to pull out a tooth?” she asked.”
“It’s $130”, was the prompt reply.
“$130!” gasped Sally, that’s ridiculous!
There must be a way for you to go cheaper.
“Well,” said the Dentist thoughtfully, I suppose if we don’t numb it, we could knock off $30.
“Only $30?,” countered Sally, “that’s still $100, you’ve got to make it cheaper.”
“Well,” said the Dentist after a long pause, “I suppose if we take it out with a wrench we could knock it down to $50.”
“Perfect”, said Sally happily. “I would like to make an appointment for next Tuesday, for my husband Jack.”
The hospital staff kept telling Jim
Barry and hannah couch watching TV
Sally walked in to the Dentist office to make an appointment.
“How much do you charge to pull out a tooth?” she asked.”
“It’s $130”, was the prompt reply.
“$130!” gasped Sally, that’s ridiculous!
There must be a way for you to go cheaper.
“Well,” said the Dentist thoughtfully, I suppose if we don’t numb it, we could knock off $30.
“Only $30?,” countered Sally, “that’s still $100, you’ve got to make it cheaper.”
“Well,” said the Dentist after a long pause, “I suppose if we take it out with a wrench we could knock it down to $50.”
“Perfect”, said Sally happily. “I would like to make an appointment for next Tuesday, for my husband Jack.”
The hospital staff kept telling Jim
Barry and hannah couch watching TV
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21.
Three men are walking in a desert when they stumble across a wizard next to a magical slide
‘Slide down this ride shout out the name of your favorite drink’ the wizard commands
The three men question his logic but never the less the first man climbs to the top of the slide and begins to slide down
‘Coke’ the man shouts and to his amazement he winds up in a pool of coke
The second man is already at the top as he slides down he yells ‘Fanta’ and he too ends up in a pool of his favorite beverage.
The last man is up at the top of the slide is is a lot dumber then his comrades and is known for being idiotic sooooo when he is sliding down forgetting about what he is doing and enjoying himself he screams ‘weeeeeeeeeee’
Splash!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well I don’t know what you were expecting
A husband and wife were out playing golf
After intense partying with their friends
Three men are walking in a desert when they stumble across a wizard next to a magical slide
‘Slide down this ride shout out the name of your favorite drink’ the wizard commands
The three men question his logic but never the less the first man climbs to the top of the slide and begins to slide down
‘Coke’ the man shouts and to his amazement he winds up in a pool of coke
The second man is already at the top as he slides down he yells ‘Fanta’ and he too ends up in a pool of his favorite beverage.
The last man is up at the top of the slide is is a lot dumber then his comrades and is known for being idiotic sooooo when he is sliding down forgetting about what he is doing and enjoying himself he screams ‘weeeeeeeeeee’
Splash!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well I don’t know what you were expecting
A husband and wife were out playing golf
After intense partying with their friends
22.
A cop notices how fast he is going and pulls him over.
The cop says to the man, “Are you aware of how fast you were going?”
The man replies, “Yes, I’m trying to escape a robbery I got involved in.”
The cop gives him a skeptical look and says, “Were you the one being robbed?”
The man casually replies, “No, I committed the robbery.”
The cop looks shocked that the man admitted this.
“So you’re telling me you were speeding… AND committed a robbery?”
“Yes,” the man calmly says.
“I have the loot in the back.”
The cop begins to get angry.
“Sir, I’m afraid you have to come with me.”
The cop reaches in the window to subdue the man.
“Don’t do that!” the man yells fearfully.
“I’m scared you will find the gun in my glove compartment!”
The cop pulls his hand out.
“Wait here,” he says.
The cop calls for backup.
Soon cop cars, and helicopters are flooding the area.
The man is cuffed quickly and taken towards a car.
However, before he gets in, a cop walks up to him and says, “Sir, this officer informed us that you had committed a robbery, had stolen loot in the trunk of your car, and had a loaded gun in your glove compartment.”
However, we found none of these things in your car?!
The man replies, “Yeah, and I bet that liar said I was speeding too!”
Lawyer Asks Old Lady If She Knows Who He Is
The astonished woman
A cop notices how fast he is going and pulls him over.
The cop says to the man, “Are you aware of how fast you were going?”
The man replies, “Yes, I’m trying to escape a robbery I got involved in.”
The cop gives him a skeptical look and says, “Were you the one being robbed?”
The man casually replies, “No, I committed the robbery.”
The cop looks shocked that the man admitted this.
“So you’re telling me you were speeding… AND committed a robbery?”
“Yes,” the man calmly says.
“I have the loot in the back.”
The cop begins to get angry.
“Sir, I’m afraid you have to come with me.”
The cop reaches in the window to subdue the man.
“Don’t do that!” the man yells fearfully.
“I’m scared you will find the gun in my glove compartment!”
The cop pulls his hand out.
“Wait here,” he says.
The cop calls for backup.
Soon cop cars, and helicopters are flooding the area.
The man is cuffed quickly and taken towards a car.
However, before he gets in, a cop walks up to him and says, “Sir, this officer informed us that you had committed a robbery, had stolen loot in the trunk of your car, and had a loaded gun in your glove compartment.”
However, we found none of these things in your car?!
The man replies, “Yeah, and I bet that liar said I was speeding too!”
Lawyer Asks Old Lady If She Knows Who He Is
The astonished woman
23.
After his exam, the doctor said to the elderly man,
“You appear to be in good health do you have any medical concerns you would like to ask me about?”
“In fact, I do,” said the old man.
“After I make love to my wife, the first time I am usually hot and sweaty, and then after the second time, I am usually cold and chilly.”
After examining his elderly wife, the doctor said,
“Everything appears to be fine. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?”
The lady replied that she had no questions or concerns.
The doctor then said to her,
“Your husband had an unusual concern. He claims that he is usually hot and sweaty after the first time, and then cold and chilly after the second time do you know why?”
“Oh, that crazy old fart” she replied.
“That’s because the first time is usually in August, and the second time is in January!”
A young man was walking through a supermarket
A man was leaving a convenience store
After his exam, the doctor said to the elderly man,
“You appear to be in good health do you have any medical concerns you would like to ask me about?”
“In fact, I do,” said the old man.
“After I make love to my wife, the first time I am usually hot and sweaty, and then after the second time, I am usually cold and chilly.”
After examining his elderly wife, the doctor said,
“Everything appears to be fine. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?”
The lady replied that she had no questions or concerns.
The doctor then said to her,
“Your husband had an unusual concern. He claims that he is usually hot and sweaty after the first time, and then cold and chilly after the second time do you know why?”
“Oh, that crazy old fart” she replied.
“That’s because the first time is usually in August, and the second time is in January!”
A young man was walking through a supermarket
A man was leaving a convenience store
24.
One young academically excellent person went to apply for a managerial position in a big company.
He passed the first interview, the director did the last interview, made the last decision.
The director discovered from the CV that the youth’s academic achievements were excellent all the way, from the secondary school until the postgraduate research, never had a year when he did not score.
The director asked, “Did you obtain any scholarships in school?”
The youth answered “none”.
The director asked, “Was it your father who paid for your school fees?”
The youth answered, “My father passed away when I was one year old, it was my mother who paid for my school fees.
The director asked, “Where did your mother work?”
The youth answered, “My mother worked as clothes cleaner.
The director requested the youth to show his hands.
The youth showed a pair of hands that were smooth and perfect.
The director asked, “Have you ever helped your mother wash the clothes before?”
The youth answered, “Never, my mother always wanted me to study and read more books.
Furthermore, my mother can wash clothes faster than me.
The director said, “I have a request when you go back today, go and clean your mother’s hands, and then see me tomorrow morning.”
The youth felt that his chance of landing the job was high.
When he went back, he happily requested his mother to let him clean her hands.
His mother felt strange, happy but with mixed feelings, she showed her hands to the kid.
The youth cleaned his mother’s hands slowly his tear fell as he did that it was the first time he noticed that his mother’s hands were so wrinkled, and there were so many bruises in her hands.
Some bruises were so painful that his mother shivered when they were cleaned with water.
This was the first time the youth realized that it was this pair of hands that washed the clothes everyday to enable him to pay the school fee.
The bruises in the mother’s hands were the price that the mother had to pay for his graduation, academic excellence and his future.
After finishing the cleaning of his mother’s hands, the youth quietly washed all the remaining clothes for his mother.
That night, mother and son talked for a very long time.The next morning, the youth went to the director’s office.
The late king of a known Kingdom
The story of one 10-year-old boy
One young academically excellent person went to apply for a managerial position in a big company.
He passed the first interview, the director did the last interview, made the last decision.
The director discovered from the CV that the youth’s academic achievements were excellent all the way, from the secondary school until the postgraduate research, never had a year when he did not score.
The director asked, “Did you obtain any scholarships in school?”
The youth answered “none”.
The director asked, “Was it your father who paid for your school fees?”
The youth answered, “My father passed away when I was one year old, it was my mother who paid for my school fees.
The director asked, “Where did your mother work?”
The youth answered, “My mother worked as clothes cleaner.
The director requested the youth to show his hands.
The youth showed a pair of hands that were smooth and perfect.
The director asked, “Have you ever helped your mother wash the clothes before?”
The youth answered, “Never, my mother always wanted me to study and read more books.
Furthermore, my mother can wash clothes faster than me.
The director said, “I have a request when you go back today, go and clean your mother’s hands, and then see me tomorrow morning.”
The youth felt that his chance of landing the job was high.
When he went back, he happily requested his mother to let him clean her hands.
His mother felt strange, happy but with mixed feelings, she showed her hands to the kid.
The youth cleaned his mother’s hands slowly his tear fell as he did that it was the first time he noticed that his mother’s hands were so wrinkled, and there were so many bruises in her hands.
Some bruises were so painful that his mother shivered when they were cleaned with water.
This was the first time the youth realized that it was this pair of hands that washed the clothes everyday to enable him to pay the school fee.
The bruises in the mother’s hands were the price that the mother had to pay for his graduation, academic excellence and his future.
After finishing the cleaning of his mother’s hands, the youth quietly washed all the remaining clothes for his mother.
That night, mother and son talked for a very long time.The next morning, the youth went to the director’s office.
The late king of a known Kingdom
The story of one 10-year-old boy
25.
Two old guys, one 80 and the other 87 were sitting on a park bench one morning.
The 87-year-old had just finished his morning jog and wasn’t even short of breath.
The 80-year-old was amazed at the guy’s stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.
The 87-year-old said, “Well, I eat rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you’ll have great stamina with the ladies.”
So on the way home the 80-year-old stops at the bakery.
As he was looking around, the saleslady asked if he needed any help.
He said, “do you have any rye bread?”
She said, “yes, would you like some?”
The old guy said, yes, 5 loaves please.”
She said, “my goodness 5 loaves! By the time you get to the third loaf, it’ll be hard.”
The old man says to himself, I can’t believe everybody knows about this!
A horse a cow and a chicken live on a farm
Two old women were sitting on a bench
Two old guys, one 80 and the other 87 were sitting on a park bench one morning.
The 87-year-old had just finished his morning jog and wasn’t even short of breath.
The 80-year-old was amazed at the guy’s stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.
The 87-year-old said, “Well, I eat rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you’ll have great stamina with the ladies.”
So on the way home the 80-year-old stops at the bakery.
As he was looking around, the saleslady asked if he needed any help.
He said, “do you have any rye bread?”
She said, “yes, would you like some?”
The old guy said, yes, 5 loaves please.”
She said, “my goodness 5 loaves! By the time you get to the third loaf, it’ll be hard.”
The old man says to himself, I can’t believe everybody knows about this!
A horse a cow and a chicken live on a farm
Two old women were sitting on a bench
26.
A man comes to his doctor and tells him that his wife doesn’t want to make love with him for the last 7 months.
The doc tells the man to bring his wife in so he can talk to her.
So the wife comes into the doctors office and the doctor asks her what’s wrong and why doesn’t she want to make love with her husband any more.
The wife tells him, “For the last 7 months every morning I take a cab to work.
I don’t have any money so the cab driver asks me, ‘So are you going to pay today or what?’ so I take a ‘or what’.
When I get to work I’m late so the boss asks me, ‘So are we going to write this down in the book or what?’ so I take a ‘or what’.
Back home again I take the cab and again I don’t have any money so the cab driver asks me again, ‘So are you going to pay this time or what?’ so again I take a ‘or what’.
So you see doc when I get home I’m all tired out, and I don’t want it any more.”
The doctor thinks for a second and then turns to the wife and says, “So are we going to tell your husband or what?”
This elderly lady went to the doctor
Two sisters blonde and brunette
A man comes to his doctor and tells him that his wife doesn’t want to make love with him for the last 7 months.
The doc tells the man to bring his wife in so he can talk to her.
So the wife comes into the doctors office and the doctor asks her what’s wrong and why doesn’t she want to make love with her husband any more.
The wife tells him, “For the last 7 months every morning I take a cab to work.
I don’t have any money so the cab driver asks me, ‘So are you going to pay today or what?’ so I take a ‘or what’.
When I get to work I’m late so the boss asks me, ‘So are we going to write this down in the book or what?’ so I take a ‘or what’.
Back home again I take the cab and again I don’t have any money so the cab driver asks me again, ‘So are you going to pay this time or what?’ so again I take a ‘or what’.
So you see doc when I get home I’m all tired out, and I don’t want it any more.”
The doctor thinks for a second and then turns to the wife and says, “So are we going to tell your husband or what?”
This elderly lady went to the doctor
Two sisters blonde and brunette
27.
Two drunks were lost in the middle of the ocean
The pair had been adrift for six days in a life boat with no water or food,
they hadn’t seen any ships or aircraft, and worst of all they had completely run out of beer three days before,
the two had nearly given up hope when suddenly they came across an ancient looking bottle,
they pulled it out of the water and tried to wipe off its label,
When they wiped it off a genie emerged from the bottle and told them that they were to be given one wish and one wish alone,
the first drunk looked at the other with a smile on his face and said,
“Finally my friend we can go home! We can get off this boat and see our fami”..
the first drunk didn’t even have time to finish his sentence when the second one shouted out
“I WISH THAT THE ENTIRE OCEAN WAS MADE OF BEER!”
The genie said “wish granted,” snapped his fingers and turned the entire ocean into beer,
then disappears as the bottle turns to dust,
the first drunk looks at the other with the most furious expression on his face and screams
“YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH NOW WE HAVE TO PISS IN THE BOAT!
A US Sailor is in a Mexican
Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home
Two drunks were lost in the middle of the ocean
The pair had been adrift for six days in a life boat with no water or food,
they hadn’t seen any ships or aircraft, and worst of all they had completely run out of beer three days before,
the two had nearly given up hope when suddenly they came across an ancient looking bottle,
they pulled it out of the water and tried to wipe off its label,
When they wiped it off a genie emerged from the bottle and told them that they were to be given one wish and one wish alone,
the first drunk looked at the other with a smile on his face and said,
“Finally my friend we can go home! We can get off this boat and see our fami”..
the first drunk didn’t even have time to finish his sentence when the second one shouted out
“I WISH THAT THE ENTIRE OCEAN WAS MADE OF BEER!”
The genie said “wish granted,” snapped his fingers and turned the entire ocean into beer,
then disappears as the bottle turns to dust,
the first drunk looks at the other with the most furious expression on his face and screams
“YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH NOW WE HAVE TO PISS IN THE BOAT!
A US Sailor is in a Mexican
Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home
28.
Alice was to bake a cake for the church ladies’ group bake sale, but she forgot to do it until the last minute.
She baked an angel food cake and when she took it from the oven, the center had dropped flat.
She said, “Oh dear, there’s no time to bake another cake.”
So, she looked around the house for something to build up the center of the cake.
Alice found it in the bathroom a roll of toilet paper.
She plunked it in and covered it with icing.
The finished product looked beautiful, so she rushed it to the church.
Before she left the house,
Alice had given her daughter some money and specific instructions to be at the bake sale the minute it opened, and to buy that cake and bring it home.
When the daughter arrived at the sale, the attractive cake had already been sold.
Alice was beside herself.
The next day, Alice was invited to a friend’s home where two tables of bridge were to be played that afternoon.
After the game, a fancy lunch was served, and to top it off, the cake in question was presented for dessert.
Alice saw the cake, she started to get out of her chair to rush into the kitchen to tell her hostess all about it, but before she could get to her feet, one of the other ladies said, “What a beautiful cake!”
Alice sat back in her chair when she heard the hostess who was a prominent church member say,
“Thank you, I baked it myself.”
A woman rubbed a bottle and out popped a genie
A blonde was driving down
Alice was to bake a cake for the church ladies’ group bake sale, but she forgot to do it until the last minute.
She baked an angel food cake and when she took it from the oven, the center had dropped flat.
She said, “Oh dear, there’s no time to bake another cake.”
So, she looked around the house for something to build up the center of the cake.
Alice found it in the bathroom a roll of toilet paper.
She plunked it in and covered it with icing.
The finished product looked beautiful, so she rushed it to the church.
Before she left the house,
Alice had given her daughter some money and specific instructions to be at the bake sale the minute it opened, and to buy that cake and bring it home.
When the daughter arrived at the sale, the attractive cake had already been sold.
Alice was beside herself.
The next day, Alice was invited to a friend’s home where two tables of bridge were to be played that afternoon.
After the game, a fancy lunch was served, and to top it off, the cake in question was presented for dessert.
Alice saw the cake, she started to get out of her chair to rush into the kitchen to tell her hostess all about it, but before she could get to her feet, one of the other ladies said, “What a beautiful cake!”
Alice sat back in her chair when she heard the hostess who was a prominent church member say,
“Thank you, I baked it myself.”
A woman rubbed a bottle and out popped a genie
A blonde was driving down
29.
A woman has to go to Italy for a conference, so her husband drives her to the airport.
“Thank you honey,” she says, “Is there anything I can bring back for you?”
He laughs, and says, “An Italian girl!”
When the conference is over, he meets her up at the airport and asks, “How was the trip?”
“Very good,” she replies. “And what happened to my present?”
“Which present?” she asks. “The one I asked for – an Italian girl!” “Oh, that.
I did what I could.
We’ll just have to wait 9 months to see if it’s a girl.
The old man wrote a letter to his son
Young woman ran up to me at the cemetery
A woman has to go to Italy for a conference, so her husband drives her to the airport.
“Thank you honey,” she says, “Is there anything I can bring back for you?”
He laughs, and says, “An Italian girl!”
When the conference is over, he meets her up at the airport and asks, “How was the trip?”
“Very good,” she replies. “And what happened to my present?”
“Which present?” she asks. “The one I asked for – an Italian girl!” “Oh, that.
I did what I could.
We’ll just have to wait 9 months to see if it’s a girl.
The old man wrote a letter to his son
Young woman ran up to me at the cemetery
30.
Adam was talking to his friend at the bar, and said:
“I don’t know what to get my wife for her birthday – she has everything, and besides,…
she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I’m stuck.”
His friend said:
“I have an idea! Why don’t you make up a certificate saying she can have 60 minutes of great love, any way she wants it.
She’ll probably be thrilled.”
Adam decided to take his friend’s advice.
The next day at the bar his friend said:
“Well? Did you take my suggestion?”
“Yes, I did,” Adam replied.
“Did she like it?”
“Oh yes! She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the forehead and ran out the door, yelling:…”
“I’ll be back in an hour!!”
A woman and a baby were
Two women were playing golf
Adam was talking to his friend at the bar, and said:
“I don’t know what to get my wife for her birthday – she has everything, and besides,…
she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I’m stuck.”
His friend said:
“I have an idea! Why don’t you make up a certificate saying she can have 60 minutes of great love, any way she wants it.
She’ll probably be thrilled.”
Adam decided to take his friend’s advice.
The next day at the bar his friend said:
“Well? Did you take my suggestion?”
“Yes, I did,” Adam replied.
“Did she like it?”
“Oh yes! She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the forehead and ran out the door, yelling:…”
“I’ll be back in an hour!!”
A woman and a baby were
Two women were playing golf
Tags:
eng jokes