1.
A farmer has three daughters that are all going on their first dates…
The farmer decides to greet the suitors at the door with his shot gun.
Around 5 the first boy arrives and rings the doorbell. “My names Joe, I’m here for flo, we’re going to the show, is she ready to go?”
The farmer thought he was alright, so off they went to their date.
Shortly after the second boy arrives. He rings the doorbell and the farmer answers.
“My names Heddy, I’m here for Betty, we’re going for spaghetti, is she ready?”
The farmer once again decided the boy was ok, so off the kids went.
Finally, the last boy arrives. The farmer goes to the door. “My names Chuck…”
The farmer shot him.
A Mexican is strolling down the street in Mexico City
A king was fed up by the constant jokes about the men in his kingdom
A farmer has three daughters that are all going on their first dates…
The farmer decides to greet the suitors at the door with his shot gun.
Around 5 the first boy arrives and rings the doorbell. “My names Joe, I’m here for flo, we’re going to the show, is she ready to go?”
The farmer thought he was alright, so off they went to their date.
Shortly after the second boy arrives. He rings the doorbell and the farmer answers.
“My names Heddy, I’m here for Betty, we’re going for spaghetti, is she ready?”
The farmer once again decided the boy was ok, so off the kids went.
Finally, the last boy arrives. The farmer goes to the door. “My names Chuck…”
The farmer shot him.
A Mexican is strolling down the street in Mexico City
A king was fed up by the constant jokes about the men in his kingdom
2.
A carpenter went home after shutting down his workshop.
A black poisonous cobra entered his workshop.
The cobra was hungry and hoped to find its supper lurking somewhere within.
It slithered from one end to another and accidentally bumped into a double-edged metal axe and got very slightly injured.
In anger and seeking revenge, the snake bit the axe with full force.
What could a bite do to a metallic axe? Instead the cobra’s mouth started bleeding.
Out of fury and arrogance, the cobra tried its best to strangle and kill the object that was causing it pain by wrapping itself very tightly around the blades.
The next day when the carpenter opened the workshop, he found a seriously cut, dead cobra wrapped around the axe blades.
The cobra died not because of someone else’s fault but faced these consequences merely because of its own anger and wrath.
Sometimes when angry, we try to cause harm to others but as time passes by, we realise that we have caused more harm to ourselves.
For a happy life, it’s best we should learn to ignore and overlook some things, people, incidents, affairs and matters.
It is not necessary that we show a reaction to everything.
Step back and ask yourself if the matter is really worth responding or reacting to.
Lets treat people with kindness even if they hurt you.
People that show no inclination to change, are best handled with silence and prayer.
This story can help us take some good decisions.
One day a city mouse went to visit his friend
A man walks into the front door of a bar
A carpenter went home after shutting down his workshop.
A black poisonous cobra entered his workshop.
The cobra was hungry and hoped to find its supper lurking somewhere within.
It slithered from one end to another and accidentally bumped into a double-edged metal axe and got very slightly injured.
In anger and seeking revenge, the snake bit the axe with full force.
What could a bite do to a metallic axe? Instead the cobra’s mouth started bleeding.
Out of fury and arrogance, the cobra tried its best to strangle and kill the object that was causing it pain by wrapping itself very tightly around the blades.
The next day when the carpenter opened the workshop, he found a seriously cut, dead cobra wrapped around the axe blades.
The cobra died not because of someone else’s fault but faced these consequences merely because of its own anger and wrath.
Sometimes when angry, we try to cause harm to others but as time passes by, we realise that we have caused more harm to ourselves.
For a happy life, it’s best we should learn to ignore and overlook some things, people, incidents, affairs and matters.
It is not necessary that we show a reaction to everything.
Step back and ask yourself if the matter is really worth responding or reacting to.
Lets treat people with kindness even if they hurt you.
People that show no inclination to change, are best handled with silence and prayer.
This story can help us take some good decisions.
One day a city mouse went to visit his friend
A man walks into the front door of a bar
3.
A Nazi walks into a bar, looks around, and notices an older orthodox Jewish man seated at a nearby table.
Barman, he says, “A round on me, for all your patrons, but not for the old Jewish geezer right there.”
As everyone in the bar receives their drinks, he looks directly at the Jew with a nasty little smile.
Surprisingly the Jew nods his head and sends a warm smile back.
The Nazi is somewhat miffed, as this was not the reaction he expected. So he goes back to the bar.
“Barman, a second round for everyone but him, and this time take it all from the top shelf.”
The Nazi looks again at the Jew and notices that he is STILL smiling back, and even warmer than before
“Is that Jew a complete fool or what?” he asks the barman.
The bartender responds: “Oh no my generous friend, that gentleman is my boss and the owner of the bar”
A Harley biker is riding
A fifteen-year-old came home with a Porsche
A Nazi walks into a bar, looks around, and notices an older orthodox Jewish man seated at a nearby table.
Barman, he says, “A round on me, for all your patrons, but not for the old Jewish geezer right there.”
As everyone in the bar receives their drinks, he looks directly at the Jew with a nasty little smile.
Surprisingly the Jew nods his head and sends a warm smile back.
The Nazi is somewhat miffed, as this was not the reaction he expected. So he goes back to the bar.
“Barman, a second round for everyone but him, and this time take it all from the top shelf.”
The Nazi looks again at the Jew and notices that he is STILL smiling back, and even warmer than before
“Is that Jew a complete fool or what?” he asks the barman.
The bartender responds: “Oh no my generous friend, that gentleman is my boss and the owner of the bar”
A Harley biker is riding
A fifteen-year-old came home with a Porsche
4.
The CEO of a large company was walking to the cafeteria along with two of his secretaries.
Upon tripping on a bottle, a genie appeared and asked the threesome if they would like to each make a wish.
The first secretary excitedly exclaimed, “I wish I was on a beach in a tropical island!” Immediately her wish was granted.
The next secretary proclaimed, “I wish I was on a tour of France!” Immediately her wish too, was granted.
Being that it was now his turn to make a wish the CEO exclaimed “I want the two of them back in their offices right after lunch!”
A man died and went up to heaven
Harry had been feeling sick lately
The CEO of a large company was walking to the cafeteria along with two of his secretaries.
Upon tripping on a bottle, a genie appeared and asked the threesome if they would like to each make a wish.
The first secretary excitedly exclaimed, “I wish I was on a beach in a tropical island!” Immediately her wish was granted.
The next secretary proclaimed, “I wish I was on a tour of France!” Immediately her wish too, was granted.
Being that it was now his turn to make a wish the CEO exclaimed “I want the two of them back in their offices right after lunch!”
A man died and went up to heaven
Harry had been feeling sick lately
5.
A newlywed couple on their honeymoon prepares to see each other undressed for the first time.
The husband exposes his knotted and twisted feet.
He explains, “I had tolio as a child.”
The wife asks if he means polio.
He says, “No, it only affects the toes.”
He removes his pants and reveals deformed knees.
He admits, “I had kneesles, too.”
Finally, he pulls off his boxers.
In shock, the woman gasps, “Oh no — small cox, too!”
A young couple just married
A old man told a grandson
A newlywed couple on their honeymoon prepares to see each other undressed for the first time.
The husband exposes his knotted and twisted feet.
He explains, “I had tolio as a child.”
The wife asks if he means polio.
He says, “No, it only affects the toes.”
He removes his pants and reveals deformed knees.
He admits, “I had kneesles, too.”
Finally, he pulls off his boxers.
In shock, the woman gasps, “Oh no — small cox, too!”
A young couple just married
A old man told a grandson
6.
A Chinese man had three daughters; he asked his eldest daughter what kind of man she would like to marry.
“I would like to marry a man with three dragons on his chest”, said the eldest daughter.
He then asked his second daughter whom she would like to marry.
“I would like to marry a man with two dragons on his chest”, said the second daughter.
He finally asked his youngest daughter whom she would like to marry.
“I would like to marry a man with one dragging’ on the ground”, said the youngest daughter.
A very shy guy goes into a pub
Billy came home from school
A Chinese man had three daughters; he asked his eldest daughter what kind of man she would like to marry.
“I would like to marry a man with three dragons on his chest”, said the eldest daughter.
He then asked his second daughter whom she would like to marry.
“I would like to marry a man with two dragons on his chest”, said the second daughter.
He finally asked his youngest daughter whom she would like to marry.
“I would like to marry a man with one dragging’ on the ground”, said the youngest daughter.
A very shy guy goes into a pub
Billy came home from school
7.
A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist.
The doctor takes one look at this woman and all his professionalism goes out the window.
Right away he tells her to undress.
After she has disrobed he begins to stroke her thigh.
As he does this he says to the woman, “Do you know what I’m doing?”
“Yes,” she says, “you’re checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities.”
“That’s right,” says the doctor.
He then begins to fondle her melons.
“Do you know what I’m doing now?” he asks.
“Yes,” says the woman, “you’re checking for any lumps of melons cancer.”
“That’s right,” replies the doctor.
He then begins to have bang lovemaking with the woman.
He says to her, “Do you know what I’m doing now?”
“Yes,” she says. “You’re getting herpes.”
A woman goes to the doctor
Four strangers traveled together
A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist.
The doctor takes one look at this woman and all his professionalism goes out the window.
Right away he tells her to undress.
After she has disrobed he begins to stroke her thigh.
As he does this he says to the woman, “Do you know what I’m doing?”
“Yes,” she says, “you’re checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities.”
“That’s right,” says the doctor.
He then begins to fondle her melons.
“Do you know what I’m doing now?” he asks.
“Yes,” says the woman, “you’re checking for any lumps of melons cancer.”
“That’s right,” replies the doctor.
He then begins to have bang lovemaking with the woman.
He says to her, “Do you know what I’m doing now?”
“Yes,” she says. “You’re getting herpes.”
A woman goes to the doctor
Four strangers traveled together
8.
Two guys are walking through a game park & they come across a lion that has not eaten for days.
The lion starts chasing the two men.
They run as fast as they can and the one guy starts getting tired and decides to say a prayer,
“Please turn this lion into a Christian, Lord.”
He looks to see if the lion is still chasing and he sees the lion on its knees.
Happy to see his prayer answered, he turns around and heads towards the lion.
As he comes closer to the lion, he hears the it saying a prayer: “Thank you Lord for the food I am about to receive.”
They were all trapped on an island
The end of a job interview
Two guys are walking through a game park & they come across a lion that has not eaten for days.
The lion starts chasing the two men.
They run as fast as they can and the one guy starts getting tired and decides to say a prayer,
“Please turn this lion into a Christian, Lord.”
He looks to see if the lion is still chasing and he sees the lion on its knees.
Happy to see his prayer answered, he turns around and heads towards the lion.
As he comes closer to the lion, he hears the it saying a prayer: “Thank you Lord for the food I am about to receive.”
They were all trapped on an island
The end of a job interview
9.
A young man from the city went to visit his farmer uncle.
For the first few days, the uncle showed him the usual things – chickens, cows, crops, etc.
After three days, however, it was obvious that the nephew was getting bored, and the uncle was running out of things to amuse him with.
Finally, the uncle had an idea
“Why don’t you grab a gun, take the dogs, and go shooting?”
This seemed to cheer the nephew up, and with enthusiasm, off he went, dogs in trail.
After a few hours, the nephew returned.
“How did you enjoy that?” asked the uncle.
“It was great!” exclaimed the nephew
“Got any more dogs?”
A Greedy Cup
Amer tells a story
A young man from the city went to visit his farmer uncle.
For the first few days, the uncle showed him the usual things – chickens, cows, crops, etc.
After three days, however, it was obvious that the nephew was getting bored, and the uncle was running out of things to amuse him with.
Finally, the uncle had an idea
“Why don’t you grab a gun, take the dogs, and go shooting?”
This seemed to cheer the nephew up, and with enthusiasm, off he went, dogs in trail.
After a few hours, the nephew returned.
“How did you enjoy that?” asked the uncle.
“It was great!” exclaimed the nephew
“Got any more dogs?”
A Greedy Cup
Amer tells a story
10.
After a fulfilling life with the now dead prince, she happily sits upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch with a cat named Bob for companionship.
One sunny afternoon out of nowhere, appeared the fairy godmother.
Cinderella said, “Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years?”
The fairy godmother replied, “Cinderella, you have lived an exemplary life since I last saw you.
Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?”
Cinderella was taken aback, overjoyed, and after some thoughtful consideration, she uttered her first wish:
“The prince was wonderful, but not much of an investor.
I’m living hand to mouth on my disability cheques, and I wish I were wealthy beyond comprehension.”
Instantly her rocking chair turned into solid gold.
Cinderella said, “Ooh, thank you, Fairy Godmother.”
The fairy godmother replied, “It is the least that I can do.
What do you want for your second wish?”
Cinderella looked down at her frail body, and said,
“I wish I were young and full of the beauty and youth I once had.”
At once, her wish became reality, and her beautiful young visage returned.
Cinderella felt stirrings inside of her that had been dormant for years.
And then the fairy godmother spoke once more: “You have one more wish; what shall it be?”
Cinderella looks over to the frightened cat in the corner and says, “I wish for you to transform Bob, my old cat, into a kind and handsome young man.”
Magically, Bob suddenly underwent so fundamental a change in his biological make-up that, when he stood before her, he was a man so beautiful the likes of him neither she nor the world had ever seen.
The fairy godmother said, “Congratulations, Cinderella, enjoy your new life.”
With a blazing shock of bright blue electricity, the fairy godmother was gone as suddenly as she appeared.
For a few eerie moments, Bob and Cinderella looked into each other’s eyes.
Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing at the most beautiful!, stunningly perfect man she had ever seen.
Then Bob walked over to Cinderella, who sat transfixed in her rocking chair.
He held her close in his young muscular arms.
He leaned in close, blowing her golden hair with his warm breath as he whispered…
“Bet you’re sorry you had me castrated.”
A man goes to the store to get a hot water bottle
An ugly old man in Mississippi was sitting
After a fulfilling life with the now dead prince, she happily sits upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch with a cat named Bob for companionship.
One sunny afternoon out of nowhere, appeared the fairy godmother.
Cinderella said, “Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years?”
The fairy godmother replied, “Cinderella, you have lived an exemplary life since I last saw you.
Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?”
Cinderella was taken aback, overjoyed, and after some thoughtful consideration, she uttered her first wish:
“The prince was wonderful, but not much of an investor.
I’m living hand to mouth on my disability cheques, and I wish I were wealthy beyond comprehension.”
Instantly her rocking chair turned into solid gold.
Cinderella said, “Ooh, thank you, Fairy Godmother.”
The fairy godmother replied, “It is the least that I can do.
What do you want for your second wish?”
Cinderella looked down at her frail body, and said,
“I wish I were young and full of the beauty and youth I once had.”
At once, her wish became reality, and her beautiful young visage returned.
Cinderella felt stirrings inside of her that had been dormant for years.
And then the fairy godmother spoke once more: “You have one more wish; what shall it be?”
Cinderella looks over to the frightened cat in the corner and says, “I wish for you to transform Bob, my old cat, into a kind and handsome young man.”
Magically, Bob suddenly underwent so fundamental a change in his biological make-up that, when he stood before her, he was a man so beautiful the likes of him neither she nor the world had ever seen.
The fairy godmother said, “Congratulations, Cinderella, enjoy your new life.”
With a blazing shock of bright blue electricity, the fairy godmother was gone as suddenly as she appeared.
For a few eerie moments, Bob and Cinderella looked into each other’s eyes.
Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing at the most beautiful!, stunningly perfect man she had ever seen.
Then Bob walked over to Cinderella, who sat transfixed in her rocking chair.
He held her close in his young muscular arms.
He leaned in close, blowing her golden hair with his warm breath as he whispered…
“Bet you’re sorry you had me castrated.”
A man goes to the store to get a hot water bottle
An ugly old man in Mississippi was sitting
11.
An elderly couple was having breakfast one fine morning.
When the wife ask her husband, “Are you going to marry right after I die?”
What a depressing question? Here we are enjoying this beautiful morning and you bring up this grieving question.
That night, she asked that question again and for the following 3 days she keeps bopping that question and so he finally said “yes, are you satisfied ? “
And she said, are you going to sell the house? he said, no!
Are you going to sell our bed? Why no!
Are you going to let her have my golf clubs?
He said, “No I don’t think so, she is left-handed.”
A wife asks her programmer husband
A young couple came into the church office
An elderly couple was having breakfast one fine morning.
When the wife ask her husband, “Are you going to marry right after I die?”
What a depressing question? Here we are enjoying this beautiful morning and you bring up this grieving question.
That night, she asked that question again and for the following 3 days she keeps bopping that question and so he finally said “yes, are you satisfied ? “
And she said, are you going to sell the house? he said, no!
Are you going to sell our bed? Why no!
Are you going to let her have my golf clubs?
He said, “No I don’t think so, she is left-handed.”
A wife asks her programmer husband
A young couple came into the church office
12.
A kindergarten teacher handed out a coloring page to her class.
On it was a picture of a duck holding an umbrella.
The teacher told her class to color the duck in yellow and the umbrella green.
Little Johnny, the class rebel, colored the duck in a bright fire-truck red.
After seeing this, the teacher asked him,
“Little Johnny, how many times have you seen a red duck?”
Little Johnny replied, “The same number of times I’ve seen a duck holding an umbrella.”
A old lady tried to phone
A wealthy man walked into a bar
A kindergarten teacher handed out a coloring page to her class.
On it was a picture of a duck holding an umbrella.
The teacher told her class to color the duck in yellow and the umbrella green.
Little Johnny, the class rebel, colored the duck in a bright fire-truck red.
After seeing this, the teacher asked him,
“Little Johnny, how many times have you seen a red duck?”
Little Johnny replied, “The same number of times I’ve seen a duck holding an umbrella.”
A old lady tried to phone
A wealthy man walked into a bar
13.
Little kids want to help you cross the street even if you’re just walking along the sidewalk.
Your senior citizen’s ID whips up discounts in many products and services.
In a hostage situation you are most likely to be released first.
Dumb blondes ask you if you were in the Vietnam War.
Getting a little action means your wife remembered who you are.
Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.
Getting luckier means not forgetting your keys in your car.
When you spend hours trying to find something you don’t even remember.
What used to be happy hour is now known as sleepy hour.
You and your teeth don’t sleep together.
Loud noises annoy you.
You eat your dinner at 5:30 in the afternoon.
8:00 PM is nap time.
People can’t tell you to act your age because to do so mean you’ll die.
A man was driving down highway
Mary and her five-year old son
Little kids want to help you cross the street even if you’re just walking along the sidewalk.
Your senior citizen’s ID whips up discounts in many products and services.
In a hostage situation you are most likely to be released first.
Dumb blondes ask you if you were in the Vietnam War.
Getting a little action means your wife remembered who you are.
Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.
Getting luckier means not forgetting your keys in your car.
When you spend hours trying to find something you don’t even remember.
What used to be happy hour is now known as sleepy hour.
You and your teeth don’t sleep together.
Loud noises annoy you.
You eat your dinner at 5:30 in the afternoon.
8:00 PM is nap time.
People can’t tell you to act your age because to do so mean you’ll die.
A man was driving down highway
Mary and her five-year old son
14.
Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together, discussing how important their children are.
The first one tells her friends, “my son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him “Father.”
The second Catholic women chirps, “Well, my son is a Bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, “Your Grace.”
The third Catholic woman says smugly, “well, not to put you down, but my son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, “Your Eminence.”
The fourth Catholic women sips her coffee in silence.
The first three women give her a subtle “Well…?”
She replies, “My son is a gorgeous, 6’2”, hard-bodied male stripper. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, “My God.”
Two women go out one Saturday night
A man walked into a local pharmacy
Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together, discussing how important their children are.
The first one tells her friends, “my son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him “Father.”
The second Catholic women chirps, “Well, my son is a Bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, “Your Grace.”
The third Catholic woman says smugly, “well, not to put you down, but my son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, “Your Eminence.”
The fourth Catholic women sips her coffee in silence.
The first three women give her a subtle “Well…?”
She replies, “My son is a gorgeous, 6’2”, hard-bodied male stripper. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, “My God.”
Two women go out one Saturday night
A man walked into a local pharmacy
15.
The mother specifically requested pictures of her right foot be sent to an address in Rhode Island.
A couple of days later, her daughter realizes that reversed pictures of her mother’s left foot were sent instead.
Unsure of the importance, but determined to fulfil her wishes, the woman travels to Rhode Island to inform the facility of the mistake.
After a long, arduous search, she finds an unmarked building in the middle of a thick forest.
She rings the doorbell and, after a moment, a pleasant-looking man answers.
“Hello. I’m sorry to bother you, but my recently-deceased mother donated photos of her right foot here,” She says, bringing the correct photos out.
“But it turns out we accidentally sent reversed photos of her left foot.
“Oh, excellent!” the man says, carefully taking the pictures. “Thank you so, so much.
She was a long-time dear friend of the academy, and we are so grateful to honor her memory–“The woman puts her hand up.
“What’s that sound…?”Before he can stop her, the woman pushes past him and rushes into an adjacent room.
There, projected on the wall, is a reversed picture of her mother’s left foot…and a room full of people masturbating.
Enraged, she storms back to find the man sitting in the living room, waiting for her.
“WHAT THE F**K IS GOING ON IN THERE?!””Look,” he says. “I think we got off on the wrong foot here.”
A woman goes to the doctor looking fantastic
Salesman Of The Year Has Rough First Day
The mother specifically requested pictures of her right foot be sent to an address in Rhode Island.
A couple of days later, her daughter realizes that reversed pictures of her mother’s left foot were sent instead.
Unsure of the importance, but determined to fulfil her wishes, the woman travels to Rhode Island to inform the facility of the mistake.
After a long, arduous search, she finds an unmarked building in the middle of a thick forest.
She rings the doorbell and, after a moment, a pleasant-looking man answers.
“Hello. I’m sorry to bother you, but my recently-deceased mother donated photos of her right foot here,” She says, bringing the correct photos out.
“But it turns out we accidentally sent reversed photos of her left foot.
“Oh, excellent!” the man says, carefully taking the pictures. “Thank you so, so much.
She was a long-time dear friend of the academy, and we are so grateful to honor her memory–“The woman puts her hand up.
“What’s that sound…?”Before he can stop her, the woman pushes past him and rushes into an adjacent room.
There, projected on the wall, is a reversed picture of her mother’s left foot…and a room full of people masturbating.
Enraged, she storms back to find the man sitting in the living room, waiting for her.
“WHAT THE F**K IS GOING ON IN THERE?!””Look,” he says. “I think we got off on the wrong foot here.”
A woman goes to the doctor looking fantastic
Salesman Of The Year Has Rough First Day
16.
Mick says to Paddy, “I can’t be bothered to walk all that way.”
“I know,” says Paddy, “But we’ve no money for a cab and we’ve missed the last bus home.”
“We could steal a bus from the depot,” Mick suggests.
They arrive at the bus depot and Mick tells Paddy to go in and get a bus while he keeps a look-out.
After shuffling around for ages, Mick shouts, “Paddy, what are you doing? Have you not found one yet?”
Paddy shouts back, “I can’t find a No 91…”
“Oh Jesus Christ, ye thick sod, take the No 14 and we’ll walk from the roundabout”.
A old man was having his annual checkup
Wife Comes Home Drunk
Mick says to Paddy, “I can’t be bothered to walk all that way.”
“I know,” says Paddy, “But we’ve no money for a cab and we’ve missed the last bus home.”
“We could steal a bus from the depot,” Mick suggests.
They arrive at the bus depot and Mick tells Paddy to go in and get a bus while he keeps a look-out.
After shuffling around for ages, Mick shouts, “Paddy, what are you doing? Have you not found one yet?”
Paddy shouts back, “I can’t find a No 91…”
“Oh Jesus Christ, ye thick sod, take the No 14 and we’ll walk from the roundabout”.
A old man was having his annual checkup
Wife Comes Home Drunk
17.
A police officer pulls over an elderly couple He walks up to the driver’s side window and asks the husband for his license and registration.
The wife, hard of hearing, asks “what?! What did he say to you?”
The husband replies, “he wants my license!”
The officer asks him if he knew how fast he was going.
The wife yells “what?! What did he say to you?”
The husband yells back “he says I was speeding!”
As the officer looks at the license he notices they’re from Ohio
“you know, I used to live in Ohio. Worst place ever. I was seeing this woman there, and it was just miserable.”
She would never shut up, couldn’t cook worth s!!!!!!!t, constantly belittled me.
The old lady once again yells “what?! What did he say to you?”
The husband yells back “he said you two used to date!”
A guy was sitting quietly reading his paper
A new young blonde bride calls her mother
A police officer pulls over an elderly couple He walks up to the driver’s side window and asks the husband for his license and registration.
The wife, hard of hearing, asks “what?! What did he say to you?”
The husband replies, “he wants my license!”
The officer asks him if he knew how fast he was going.
The wife yells “what?! What did he say to you?”
The husband yells back “he says I was speeding!”
As the officer looks at the license he notices they’re from Ohio
“you know, I used to live in Ohio. Worst place ever. I was seeing this woman there, and it was just miserable.”
She would never shut up, couldn’t cook worth s!!!!!!!t, constantly belittled me.
The old lady once again yells “what?! What did he say to you?”
The husband yells back “he said you two used to date!”
A guy was sitting quietly reading his paper
A new young blonde bride calls her mother
18.
A little boy said to a little girl: I’m your BF!
The little girl asked: What is BF?
The boy laughed and answered: That means Best Friend.
They later dated, the young man said to the girl: I am your BF!
The girl leaned lightly on the boy’s shoulder, shyly asked: What is BF?
The boy replied: It’s Boy Friend!
A few years later they got married, had lovely children, and the husband smiled again and told his wife: I am your BF!
The wife gently asked her husband: What is BF?
The husband looked at the lovely and happy children and replied: It’s Baby’s father!
As they get old, they sit together and watch the sunset on the front porch, and the old man tells his wife: Honey! I am your BF!
The old woman smiled with wrinkles on her face: What is BF?
The old man smiled happily and gave a mysterious answer: Be Forever!
When the dying old man also said: I can BF.
The old woman replied with a sad voice: What is BF??
The old man answered and then closed his eyes: It’s Bye Forever!
A few days later, the old woman also passed away.
Before closing her eyes, the old woman whispered by the old man’s grave: Beside Forever.
A wedding ceremony the priest asked
The pastors wife bought a dress
A little boy said to a little girl: I’m your BF!
The little girl asked: What is BF?
The boy laughed and answered: That means Best Friend.
They later dated, the young man said to the girl: I am your BF!
The girl leaned lightly on the boy’s shoulder, shyly asked: What is BF?
The boy replied: It’s Boy Friend!
A few years later they got married, had lovely children, and the husband smiled again and told his wife: I am your BF!
The wife gently asked her husband: What is BF?
The husband looked at the lovely and happy children and replied: It’s Baby’s father!
As they get old, they sit together and watch the sunset on the front porch, and the old man tells his wife: Honey! I am your BF!
The old woman smiled with wrinkles on her face: What is BF?
The old man smiled happily and gave a mysterious answer: Be Forever!
When the dying old man also said: I can BF.
The old woman replied with a sad voice: What is BF??
The old man answered and then closed his eyes: It’s Bye Forever!
A few days later, the old woman also passed away.
Before closing her eyes, the old woman whispered by the old man’s grave: Beside Forever.
A wedding ceremony the priest asked
The pastors wife bought a dress
19.
Coming into the bar and ordering a double, the man leaned over and confided to the bartender,
“I’m so pissed off!”
“Oh yeah? What happened?” asked the bartender politely.
“See, I met this beautiful woman who invited me back to her home.
We stripped off our clothes and jumped into bed and we were just about to make love when her damned husband came in the front door.
So I had to jump out of the bedroom window and hang from the ledge by my fingernails!”
“Gee, that’s tough,” commiserated the bartender.
“Right, but that’s not what really got me,” the customer went on.
“When her husband came into the room he said:
“Hey great! You’re undressed already! Let me just take a leak.”
And damned if the lazy son of a bitch didn’t piss out the window right onto my head?”
“Yeech!” the bartender shook his head.
“No wonder you’re in a lousy mood.”
“Yeah, but I haven’t told you what really, really got to me.
Next, I had to listen to them grunting and groaning and when they finished, the husband tossed his protection out of the window.
And where does it land? My damned forehead!”
“Damn, that’s awful!” says the bartender.
“Oh, I’m not finished. See what really pissed me off was when the husband had to take a dump.
It turns out that their toilet is broken, so he stuck his bum out of the window and let loose right on my head!”
The bartender paled. “That would sure mess up my day.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” the fellow rattled on,
“But do you know what REALLY, REALLY, REALLY pissed me off?
When I looked down and saw that my feet were only SIX inches off the ground.”
A nervous young lady sat on a dentist’s chair
Valentine’s Day was quickly approaching
Coming into the bar and ordering a double, the man leaned over and confided to the bartender,
“I’m so pissed off!”
“Oh yeah? What happened?” asked the bartender politely.
“See, I met this beautiful woman who invited me back to her home.
We stripped off our clothes and jumped into bed and we were just about to make love when her damned husband came in the front door.
So I had to jump out of the bedroom window and hang from the ledge by my fingernails!”
“Gee, that’s tough,” commiserated the bartender.
“Right, but that’s not what really got me,” the customer went on.
“When her husband came into the room he said:
“Hey great! You’re undressed already! Let me just take a leak.”
And damned if the lazy son of a bitch didn’t piss out the window right onto my head?”
“Yeech!” the bartender shook his head.
“No wonder you’re in a lousy mood.”
“Yeah, but I haven’t told you what really, really got to me.
Next, I had to listen to them grunting and groaning and when they finished, the husband tossed his protection out of the window.
And where does it land? My damned forehead!”
“Damn, that’s awful!” says the bartender.
“Oh, I’m not finished. See what really pissed me off was when the husband had to take a dump.
It turns out that their toilet is broken, so he stuck his bum out of the window and let loose right on my head!”
The bartender paled. “That would sure mess up my day.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” the fellow rattled on,
“But do you know what REALLY, REALLY, REALLY pissed me off?
When I looked down and saw that my feet were only SIX inches off the ground.”
A nervous young lady sat on a dentist’s chair
Valentine’s Day was quickly approaching
20.
A king was fed up by the constant jokes about the men in his kingdom being afraid of their wives.
He wanted to find a man who wasn’t afraid of his wife and give him public honors and lavish him with gifts so other men may follow suit.
After some brainstorming in the court the king announced to his subjects that ”
if a man comes forward and publically say that he is NOT AFRAID of his wife,
then that man will win the best horse from the king’s stables”.
The king waited with with baited breath for someone to come forward.
Days passed but nobody came forward. The king was about to lose all hope then suddenly a man came in his court saying that “he was NOT AFRAID of his wife”.
The king was over the moon thinking that there is indeed a real man in his kingdom.
He called all his subjects in a big Field and introduced them to the man who was definitely NOT AFRAID of his wife. Everyone applauded in awe as king presented him with the best red horse in his stable.
The man disappointingly looked at the horse. The king was confused. “What is it? You don’t like the horse? “
The man replied, ” actually, if you don’t mind your highness, my wife asked me to bring a white horse “
A farmer has three daughters
A store that sells husbands
A king was fed up by the constant jokes about the men in his kingdom being afraid of their wives.
He wanted to find a man who wasn’t afraid of his wife and give him public honors and lavish him with gifts so other men may follow suit.
After some brainstorming in the court the king announced to his subjects that ”
if a man comes forward and publically say that he is NOT AFRAID of his wife,
then that man will win the best horse from the king’s stables”.
The king waited with with baited breath for someone to come forward.
Days passed but nobody came forward. The king was about to lose all hope then suddenly a man came in his court saying that “he was NOT AFRAID of his wife”.
The king was over the moon thinking that there is indeed a real man in his kingdom.
He called all his subjects in a big Field and introduced them to the man who was definitely NOT AFRAID of his wife. Everyone applauded in awe as king presented him with the best red horse in his stable.
The man disappointingly looked at the horse. The king was confused. “What is it? You don’t like the horse? “
The man replied, ” actually, if you don’t mind your highness, my wife asked me to bring a white horse “
A farmer has three daughters
A store that sells husbands
21.
Three elderly gentlemen were talking about what their grandchildren would be saying about them in fifty years’ time.
The first said, “I would like my grandchildren to say ‘He was great fun to be with.'”
“Fifty years from now,” said the second, “I want mine to say ‘He was a loyal and loving family man.'”
Turning to the third man, they asked him, “So what do you want them to say about you in fifty years?”
“I want them to say,” the third man replied, “He looks really good for his age!”
Three drunks get into a taxi
Two hunters Paul and Kurt
Three elderly gentlemen were talking about what their grandchildren would be saying about them in fifty years’ time.
The first said, “I would like my grandchildren to say ‘He was great fun to be with.'”
“Fifty years from now,” said the second, “I want mine to say ‘He was a loyal and loving family man.'”
Turning to the third man, they asked him, “So what do you want them to say about you in fifty years?”
“I want them to say,” the third man replied, “He looks really good for his age!”
Three drunks get into a taxi
Two hunters Paul and Kurt
22.
A young man walks into a supermarket and buys a bar of soap, a toothbrush, toothpaste, a loaf of bread, a container of milk, two boxes of cereal and a frozen dinner.
The girl at the cash register looks at him and says “Single, huh?”
The man replies very sarcastically, “How did you guess?”
She replies, “because you’re ugly.”
A Swedish truck driver once got stuck in a tunnel in Norway.
Soon a Norwegian came by the tunnel and found out that the truck was wedged in with the load stuck against the ceiling.
The Norwegian suggested that the Swede let the air out of the tires.
The Swede looked angrily at him, “You moron! The truck is stuck up on top.”
The disciple asked the master
A hungry Wolf
A young man walks into a supermarket and buys a bar of soap, a toothbrush, toothpaste, a loaf of bread, a container of milk, two boxes of cereal and a frozen dinner.
The girl at the cash register looks at him and says “Single, huh?”
The man replies very sarcastically, “How did you guess?”
She replies, “because you’re ugly.”
A Swedish truck driver once got stuck in a tunnel in Norway.
Soon a Norwegian came by the tunnel and found out that the truck was wedged in with the load stuck against the ceiling.
The Norwegian suggested that the Swede let the air out of the tires.
The Swede looked angrily at him, “You moron! The truck is stuck up on top.”
The disciple asked the master
A hungry Wolf
23.
Jonesey bought a donkey from Brathwaite, an old farming partner for $300
Brathwaite agreed to deliver the donkey the following day.
One day later Brathwaite drove up and said;
“Sorry Jonesey, but I have some bad news, the donkey died.” “Well give me back my money.” Said Jonesey.
“Worse news boy, I spent it already…” “Ok then, give me the dead donkey”
“…What are you going to do with a dead donkey?” Asked Brathwaite.
“I’m going to raffle him.” Jonesey said calmly. “Are you mad?
You can’t raffle off a dead donkey!!” “I can’t? I will! I’m just not going to tell anyone he’s dead.”
One month later the two ran into each other.
“Jonesey!” Brathwaite exclaimed, “ What happened with your dead donkey boy?” Jonesey beamed,
“I raffled him off like I told you.
I sold 500 tickets at $5 dollars each and raked in $2,500! Brathwaite was shocked,
“…And no one complained about it being dead?”
“Only the guy who won, so I gave him back his $5.”
An elderly man feared his wife wasn’t hearing as well
A Police Officer was waiting along the side of a highway
Jonesey bought a donkey from Brathwaite, an old farming partner for $300
Brathwaite agreed to deliver the donkey the following day.
One day later Brathwaite drove up and said;
“Sorry Jonesey, but I have some bad news, the donkey died.” “Well give me back my money.” Said Jonesey.
“Worse news boy, I spent it already…” “Ok then, give me the dead donkey”
“…What are you going to do with a dead donkey?” Asked Brathwaite.
“I’m going to raffle him.” Jonesey said calmly. “Are you mad?
You can’t raffle off a dead donkey!!” “I can’t? I will! I’m just not going to tell anyone he’s dead.”
One month later the two ran into each other.
“Jonesey!” Brathwaite exclaimed, “ What happened with your dead donkey boy?” Jonesey beamed,
“I raffled him off like I told you.
I sold 500 tickets at $5 dollars each and raked in $2,500! Brathwaite was shocked,
“…And no one complained about it being dead?”
“Only the guy who won, so I gave him back his $5.”
An elderly man feared his wife wasn’t hearing as well
A Police Officer was waiting along the side of a highway
24.
“Doctor, I need your help,” the woman says.
“What seems to be the problem?”Dr ask”
“My husband just doesn’t satisfy me loving. What can I do?”
“Hmmm. That’s a bit out of my league. Has HE seen a doctor?”
“Yes, he has. He is perfectly OK. He just isn’t enough for me. You’ve got to help me!”
“Er … Why don’t you take a lover?”
“I have! I still don’t get enough.”
“Take another lover.”
“I did. In fact, I have eight lovers – and I still don’t get enough make love!”
“Gosh, that’s an anomaly.”
“Oh, Doctor! Please tell them it’s an anomaly! They all keep telling me I’m a B-girl!”
Three friends were at the bar
The teacher decides to play game
“Doctor, I need your help,” the woman says.
“What seems to be the problem?”Dr ask”
“My husband just doesn’t satisfy me loving. What can I do?”
“Hmmm. That’s a bit out of my league. Has HE seen a doctor?”
“Yes, he has. He is perfectly OK. He just isn’t enough for me. You’ve got to help me!”
“Er … Why don’t you take a lover?”
“I have! I still don’t get enough.”
“Take another lover.”
“I did. In fact, I have eight lovers – and I still don’t get enough make love!”
“Gosh, that’s an anomaly.”
“Oh, Doctor! Please tell them it’s an anomaly! They all keep telling me I’m a B-girl!”
Three friends were at the bar
The teacher decides to play game
25.
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink.
He stays like that for a half hour.
Then a big trouble making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down.
The poor man starts crying.
The truck driver says, “Come on man, I was just joking.
Here, I’ll buy you another drink I just can’t stand to see a man cry.”
“No, it’s not that,” the man replies, wiping his tears,
“This day is the worst of my life first, I oversleep and I go in late to my office.
My outraged boss fires me
When I leave the building to go to my car, I find out it was stolen.
The police say they can do nothing
I get a cab to go home, and when I get out, I remember I left my wallet.
The cab driver just drives away.
I go inside my house where I find my wife in bed with the gardener.
I leave my home, come to this bar, and just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison.”
Every day Nasreddin went to beg
Two men were sitting in a pub drinking
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink.
He stays like that for a half hour.
Then a big trouble making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down.
The poor man starts crying.
The truck driver says, “Come on man, I was just joking.
Here, I’ll buy you another drink I just can’t stand to see a man cry.”
“No, it’s not that,” the man replies, wiping his tears,
“This day is the worst of my life first, I oversleep and I go in late to my office.
My outraged boss fires me
When I leave the building to go to my car, I find out it was stolen.
The police say they can do nothing
I get a cab to go home, and when I get out, I remember I left my wallet.
The cab driver just drives away.
I go inside my house where I find my wife in bed with the gardener.
I leave my home, come to this bar, and just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison.”
Every day Nasreddin went to beg
Two men were sitting in a pub drinking
26.
A waiter takes an order from a customer who requests half a Caesar salad.
The waiter responds, “Well, we offer a small and a large. Would you like the small?”
The customer replies, “No, I don’t want a small or a large. I want half a Caesar salad. Why is that so difficult?”
The waiter says, “Alright… let me check with the chef.”
He heads toward the kitchen, unaware that the customer has left his table and is following closely behind.
Reaching the kitchen, the waiter tells the chef, “There’s a guy out there asking for half a Caesar salad…” He points toward the dining area with his palm, only to realize the customer is standing right behind him.
“And this distinguished gentleman,” the waiter quickly adds, “would like the other half.”
The owner of a company tells his employees
A little girl received a tea
A waiter takes an order from a customer who requests half a Caesar salad.
The waiter responds, “Well, we offer a small and a large. Would you like the small?”
The customer replies, “No, I don’t want a small or a large. I want half a Caesar salad. Why is that so difficult?”
The waiter says, “Alright… let me check with the chef.”
He heads toward the kitchen, unaware that the customer has left his table and is following closely behind.
Reaching the kitchen, the waiter tells the chef, “There’s a guy out there asking for half a Caesar salad…” He points toward the dining area with his palm, only to realize the customer is standing right behind him.
“And this distinguished gentleman,” the waiter quickly adds, “would like the other half.”
The owner of a company tells his employees
A little girl received a tea
27.
A couple whose marriage was on the rocks sought the advice of their pastor.
The pastor encouraged them to patch up their quarrel and keep their vows, but the couple was adamant.
“Well,” said the pastor, “you know the consequences if you insist on a divorce.
Remember this: you must divide your property equally.”
The wife flared up
“You mean the $4,000 I have saved up? I must give him half? My money?”
“Yes,” said the pastor
“He gets $2,000
You get $2,000.”
“What about my furniture? I paid for that.”
“Same thing,” answered the pastor
“You split it equally.”
There was a challenging gleam in the wife’s eye
“What about our three children?”
The pastor was stumped at first but then quickly came up with a Solomonic solution.
“Go back and live together until your fourth child is born.
Then you take two children and your husband takes two.”
The wife shook her head.
“No, I’m sure that wouldn’t work out
If I depended on him, I wouldn’t have the three I’ve got.”
The baker decided to weigh the butter
Cimon And Pero’s Story
A couple whose marriage was on the rocks sought the advice of their pastor.
The pastor encouraged them to patch up their quarrel and keep their vows, but the couple was adamant.
“Well,” said the pastor, “you know the consequences if you insist on a divorce.
Remember this: you must divide your property equally.”
The wife flared up
“You mean the $4,000 I have saved up? I must give him half? My money?”
“Yes,” said the pastor
“He gets $2,000
You get $2,000.”
“What about my furniture? I paid for that.”
“Same thing,” answered the pastor
“You split it equally.”
There was a challenging gleam in the wife’s eye
“What about our three children?”
The pastor was stumped at first but then quickly came up with a Solomonic solution.
“Go back and live together until your fourth child is born.
Then you take two children and your husband takes two.”
The wife shook her head.
“No, I’m sure that wouldn’t work out
If I depended on him, I wouldn’t have the three I’ve got.”
The baker decided to weigh the butter
Cimon And Pero’s Story
28.
A blonde was summoned to court to appear as a witness in a lawsuit.
The prosecutor opened his questioning with, “Where were you the night of August 24th?”
“Objection!” said the defense attorney. “Irrelevant!”
“Oh, that’s okay,” said the blonde from the witness stand.
“I don’t mind answering the question.”
“I object!” the defense said again.
“No, really,” said the blonde. “I’ll answer.”
The judge ruled: “If the witness insists on answering, there is no reason for the defense to object.”
So the prosecutor repeated the question: “Where were you the night of August 24th?”
The blonde replied brightly, “I don’t know.”
A bride tells her husband
A lady is having a bad day at the roulette tables
A blonde was summoned to court to appear as a witness in a lawsuit.
The prosecutor opened his questioning with, “Where were you the night of August 24th?”
“Objection!” said the defense attorney. “Irrelevant!”
“Oh, that’s okay,” said the blonde from the witness stand.
“I don’t mind answering the question.”
“I object!” the defense said again.
“No, really,” said the blonde. “I’ll answer.”
The judge ruled: “If the witness insists on answering, there is no reason for the defense to object.”
So the prosecutor repeated the question: “Where were you the night of August 24th?”
The blonde replied brightly, “I don’t know.”
A bride tells her husband
A lady is having a bad day at the roulette tables
29.
A woman came home early from work one day and found her husband in bed with a young and attractive woman.
The woman yelled at her husband in anger: “You slimy disrespectful pig! How dare you do this to me!? I’m the mother of your children, and I’ve been faithful to you all these years! I want a divorce now!”
The husband answered: “Wait a second my love, let me at least explain what happened.”
“All right, let’s hear what you have to say for yourself,” answered the wife waiting to see just how her husband would try to talk his way out of this one, “but these are your last words.”
Her husband started recalling: “today when I left work and got in my car to head home and this woman asked me for a ride.”
“I noticed that she was very skinny and wearing worn out clothes covered in muck and mud. She told me she hadn’t eaten in three days.”
“She looked worse for wear so I took pity on her and let her into the car.”
“In my mercy for her, instead of taking her straight to where she needed to go, I brought her home first and warmed her up a plate of goulash, the same plate I made for you last night which you didn’t eat claiming you’d ‘get fat’.”
“She devoured it in seconds.”
“Since she needed to get clean, I offered to let her use our shower.”
“While she showered, I noticed that her clothes were very dirty and worn, so I threw them out. She needed new clothes so I brought her the old jeans you no longer wear because they’re ‘too tight’.”
“I also gave her some underwear I bought you that you didn’t wear because ‘I don’t have good taste in clothes’.”
“I found the shirt my mom bought you for Christmas that you didn’t wear to ‘piss her off’. And I gave her the high heels you only wore once because ‘someone at work had the same pair’.”
The husband took a deep breath and continued…
“She was so grateful for my understanding and help. When I walked her to the door she turned around with tears in her eyes and asked…”
“You’re such a great person! Is there anything else your wife doesn’t use?”
A Italian girl tells her Mom
One day her husband comes home early
A woman came home early from work one day and found her husband in bed with a young and attractive woman.
The woman yelled at her husband in anger: “You slimy disrespectful pig! How dare you do this to me!? I’m the mother of your children, and I’ve been faithful to you all these years! I want a divorce now!”
The husband answered: “Wait a second my love, let me at least explain what happened.”
“All right, let’s hear what you have to say for yourself,” answered the wife waiting to see just how her husband would try to talk his way out of this one, “but these are your last words.”
Her husband started recalling: “today when I left work and got in my car to head home and this woman asked me for a ride.”
“I noticed that she was very skinny and wearing worn out clothes covered in muck and mud. She told me she hadn’t eaten in three days.”
“She looked worse for wear so I took pity on her and let her into the car.”
“In my mercy for her, instead of taking her straight to where she needed to go, I brought her home first and warmed her up a plate of goulash, the same plate I made for you last night which you didn’t eat claiming you’d ‘get fat’.”
“She devoured it in seconds.”
“Since she needed to get clean, I offered to let her use our shower.”
“While she showered, I noticed that her clothes were very dirty and worn, so I threw them out. She needed new clothes so I brought her the old jeans you no longer wear because they’re ‘too tight’.”
“I also gave her some underwear I bought you that you didn’t wear because ‘I don’t have good taste in clothes’.”
“I found the shirt my mom bought you for Christmas that you didn’t wear to ‘piss her off’. And I gave her the high heels you only wore once because ‘someone at work had the same pair’.”
The husband took a deep breath and continued…
“She was so grateful for my understanding and help. When I walked her to the door she turned around with tears in her eyes and asked…”
“You’re such a great person! Is there anything else your wife doesn’t use?”
A Italian girl tells her Mom
One day her husband comes home early
30.
Two lawyers, Jon and Ethan, head out for their usual 9 holes of golf.
Jon offers Ethan a $50 bet.
Ethan agrees and they’re off.
They shoot a great game.
After the 8th hole, Ethan is ahead by one stroke, but cuts his ball into the rough on the 9th.
“Help me find my ball. Look over there,” he says to Jon.
After a few minutes, neither has any luck.
Since a lost ball carries a four point penalty, Ethan secretly pulls a ball from his pocket and tosses it to the ground.
“I’ve found my ball!” he announces.
“After all of the years we’ve been partners and playing together,”
Jon says, “you’d cheat me out of a lousy 50 bucks?”
“What do you mean, cheat? I found my ball sitting right there!”
“And you’re a liar, too!” Jon says.
“I’ll have you know I’ve been STANDING on your ball for the last five minutes!”
Death comes to collect a man soul
Predicting the weather
Two lawyers, Jon and Ethan, head out for their usual 9 holes of golf.
Jon offers Ethan a $50 bet.
Ethan agrees and they’re off.
They shoot a great game.
After the 8th hole, Ethan is ahead by one stroke, but cuts his ball into the rough on the 9th.
“Help me find my ball. Look over there,” he says to Jon.
After a few minutes, neither has any luck.
Since a lost ball carries a four point penalty, Ethan secretly pulls a ball from his pocket and tosses it to the ground.
“I’ve found my ball!” he announces.
“After all of the years we’ve been partners and playing together,”
Jon says, “you’d cheat me out of a lousy 50 bucks?”
“What do you mean, cheat? I found my ball sitting right there!”
“And you’re a liar, too!” Jon says.
“I’ll have you know I’ve been STANDING on your ball for the last five minutes!”
Death comes to collect a man soul
Predicting the weather
Tags:
eng jokes