1.
Nasreddin Hodja was boasting about the power of his faith.“If your faith is so strong, then pray for that mountain to come to you,” said a skeptic, pointing to a mountain in the distance.Nasreddin Hodja prayed fervently, but the mountain did not move.He p
Nasreddin Hodja was boasting about the power of his faith.“If your faith is so strong, then pray for that mountain to come to you,” said a skeptic, pointing to a mountain in the distance.Nasreddin Hodja prayed fervently, but the mountain did not move.He p
2.
An old couple, Abe and Esther are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 50th anniversary.Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces,“Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad newsOur engines have
An old couple, Abe and Esther are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 50th anniversary.Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces,“Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad newsOur engines have
3.
An Irish painter by the name of Murphy, while not a brilliant scholar, was a gifted portrait artist.Over a short number of years, his fame grew and soon people from all over Ireland were coming to the town of Miltown in County Clare, to get him to paint t
An Irish painter by the name of Murphy, while not a brilliant scholar, was a gifted portrait artist.Over a short number of years, his fame grew and soon people from all over Ireland were coming to the town of Miltown in County Clare, to get him to paint t
4.
As the final moment approaches, he gathers all his strength and whispers, “I must tell you my greatest secret.”His family members are all ears, urging him to go on.“When I was young, I had it all,” explains Ed“Fast cars, cute girls, and plenty of money.
As the final moment approaches, he gathers all his strength and whispers, “I must tell you my greatest secret.”His family members are all ears, urging him to go on.“When I was young, I had it all,” explains Ed“Fast cars, cute girls, and plenty of money.
5.
He slid into bed, kissed his wife on the cheek and fell into a deep sleep.He awoke before the Pearly Gates.StPeter said, “You died in your sleep, Ralph.”Ralph was stunned. “I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!”StPeter
He slid into bed, kissed his wife on the cheek and fell into a deep sleep.He awoke before the Pearly Gates.StPeter said, “You died in your sleep, Ralph.”Ralph was stunned. “I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!”StPeter
6.
A few years ago, I decided to visit my brother who was stationed in Germany.I assumed that most Germans would speak English.But I found that many people spoke only their native tongue–including the ticket inspector on the train.He punched my ticket, then
A few years ago, I decided to visit my brother who was stationed in Germany.I assumed that most Germans would speak English.But I found that many people spoke only their native tongue–including the ticket inspector on the train.He punched my ticket, then
7.
The policeman approaches the driver's door.“Is there a problem, Officer?”The policeman says, “Sir, you were speedingCan I see your licence please?”The driver responds, “I'd give it to you but I don't have one.”“You don't have one?”The man responds, “I los
The policeman approaches the driver's door.“Is there a problem, Officer?”The policeman says, “Sir, you were speedingCan I see your licence please?”The driver responds, “I'd give it to you but I don't have one.”“You don't have one?”The man responds, “I los
8.
A wife arrived home after a long shopping trip, and was horrified to find her husband in bed with a young, lovely thing.Just as she was about to storm out of the house, her husband stopped her with these words:“Before you leave, I want you to hear how thi
A wife arrived home after a long shopping trip, and was horrified to find her husband in bed with a young, lovely thing.Just as she was about to storm out of the house, her husband stopped her with these words:“Before you leave, I want you to hear how thi
9.
An Italian woman was leaving a convenience store with her espresso when she noticed a most unusual Italian funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery:A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one.Behind th
An Italian woman was leaving a convenience store with her espresso when she noticed a most unusual Italian funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery:A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one.Behind th
10.
A group of young children were siting in a circle with their teacher.She was going around in turn asking them all questions.“Davy, what noise does a cow make?”“It goes moo.”“Alice, what noise does a cat make?”“It goes meow.”“Jamie, what sound does a lamb
A group of young children were siting in a circle with their teacher.She was going around in turn asking them all questions.“Davy, what noise does a cow make?”“It goes moo.”“Alice, what noise does a cat make?”“It goes meow.”“Jamie, what sound does a lamb
11.
A Queenslander is drinking in a West Australian Pub when he gets a call on his mobile phone and as he listens to the call he starts grinning from ear to ear.
Once he disconnects he shouts to the barman that he wants to buy everyone in the bar a drink.<
A Queenslander is drinking in a West Australian Pub when he gets a call on his mobile phone and as he listens to the call he starts grinning from ear to ear.
Once he disconnects he shouts to the barman that he wants to buy everyone in the bar a drink.<
12.
After a day fishing in the ocean a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two lobsters in a bucket.He is approached by the Game Warden who asks him for his fishing license.The fisherman says to the warden, “I did not catch these lobsters, they are my
After a day fishing in the ocean a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two lobsters in a bucket.He is approached by the Game Warden who asks him for his fishing license.The fisherman says to the warden, “I did not catch these lobsters, they are my
13.
He asked the preacher if he could participate in the door-to-door selling of bibles.The preacher agreed, but knowing the young man had a bad stutter, only gave him 3 bibles to sell.The following day the young man returned asking for more.The preacher ga
He asked the preacher if he could participate in the door-to-door selling of bibles.The preacher agreed, but knowing the young man had a bad stutter, only gave him 3 bibles to sell.The following day the young man returned asking for more.The preacher ga
14.
Three guys go to hell,…
When they get there, they meet the devil, who tells them there’s a way to get to heaven.
The Devil explains that behind 3 doors are tasks that they must each complete,…
In whatever order they want, to go to heaven.
Door
Three guys go to hell,…
When they get there, they meet the devil, who tells them there’s a way to get to heaven.
The Devil explains that behind 3 doors are tasks that they must each complete,…
In whatever order they want, to go to heaven.
Door
15.
Little Johnny was eating breakfast one morning and got to thinking about things.“Mommy, mommy, why has daddy got so few hairs on his head?” He asked his mother.“He thinks a lot” replied his mother, pleased with herself for coming up with a good answer to
Little Johnny was eating breakfast one morning and got to thinking about things.“Mommy, mommy, why has daddy got so few hairs on his head?” He asked his mother.“He thinks a lot” replied his mother, pleased with herself for coming up with a good answer to
16.
When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.
When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.
In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional.
When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.
When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.
In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional.
17.
Fred was very old, sick, and doctors said he would not l and dying.There was an elderly man at home in his bed, dying.He smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies baking in the kitchen downstairs, and he wanted one last cookie before he die
Fred was very old, sick, and doctors said he would not l and dying.There was an elderly man at home in his bed, dying.He smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies baking in the kitchen downstairs, and he wanted one last cookie before he die
18.
When the manager of a men's clothing store returned from lunch, he noticed his clerk's hand was bandaged, but before he could ask about the bandage, the clerk had some very good news for him.“Guess what, sir?” the clerk said“I finally sold that terrible,
When the manager of a men's clothing store returned from lunch, he noticed his clerk's hand was bandaged, but before he could ask about the bandage, the clerk had some very good news for him.“Guess what, sir?” the clerk said“I finally sold that terrible,
19.
A Catholic Priest was about to finish his tour of duty, and was leaving his Mission in the jungle where he has spent years teaching the natives when he realizes that the one thing he never taught them was how to speak EnglishSo he takes the chief for a wa
A Catholic Priest was about to finish his tour of duty, and was leaving his Mission in the jungle where he has spent years teaching the natives when he realizes that the one thing he never taught them was how to speak EnglishSo he takes the chief for a wa
20.
Two guys are speeding through Texas when a state trooper pulls them over.
The trooper walks up to the drivers side of the car, gets out his billy club and smacks the driver across the face.
Stunned, the driver asks, “Why did you do that??”
The tr
Two guys are speeding through Texas when a state trooper pulls them over.
The trooper walks up to the drivers side of the car, gets out his billy club and smacks the driver across the face.
Stunned, the driver asks, “Why did you do that??”
The tr
21.
Desmond, who was a real town dweller, drove his car into a ditch when out on the country roadsLuckily, a local farmer came was passing by with his big strong donkey called Dobbin.He hitched Dobbin up to the car and shouted loudly, “Pull, Dolly, pull!” Dob
Desmond, who was a real town dweller, drove his car into a ditch when out on the country roadsLuckily, a local farmer came was passing by with his big strong donkey called Dobbin.He hitched Dobbin up to the car and shouted loudly, “Pull, Dolly, pull!” Dob
22.
Fred was very old, sick, and doctors said he would not l and dying.
There was an elderly man at home in his bed, dying.
He smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies baking in the kitchen downstairs, and he wanted one last cookie befor
Fred was very old, sick, and doctors said he would not l and dying.
There was an elderly man at home in his bed, dying.
He smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies baking in the kitchen downstairs, and he wanted one last cookie befor
23.
The owner tells him he has good news and bad news.“The good news is that a man dropped by the studio today and put in an offer to buy every single piece. He just wanted my guarantee that the works would be worth twice what he paid if you were to pass awa
The owner tells him he has good news and bad news.“The good news is that a man dropped by the studio today and put in an offer to buy every single piece. He just wanted my guarantee that the works would be worth twice what he paid if you were to pass awa
24.
A mother took her little boy to church.While in church the little boy said,“Mommy, I have to pee.”The mother said to the little boy,“It's not appropriate to say the word ‘pee' in church.So, from now on whenever you have to ‘pee' just tell me that you have
A mother took her little boy to church.While in church the little boy said,“Mommy, I have to pee.”The mother said to the little boy,“It's not appropriate to say the word ‘pee' in church.So, from now on whenever you have to ‘pee' just tell me that you have
25.
An elderly man went to the doctor's office to get a double dose of viagra:The doctor told him that he couldn't allow him a double dose.“Why not?” Asked the elderly man.“Because it's not safe.” Replied the doctor.“But I need it really bad.” Said the man.“W
An elderly man went to the doctor's office to get a double dose of viagra:The doctor told him that he couldn't allow him a double dose.“Why not?” Asked the elderly man.“Because it's not safe.” Replied the doctor.“But I need it really bad.” Said the man.“W
26.
Joe had asked Bob to help him out with the deck after work, so Bob just went straight over to Joe’s place.
When they got to the door, Joe went straight to his wife, gave her a hug and told her how beautiful she was and how much he had missed her at wor
Joe had asked Bob to help him out with the deck after work, so Bob just went straight over to Joe’s place.
When they got to the door, Joe went straight to his wife, gave her a hug and told her how beautiful she was and how much he had missed her at wor
27.
A blonde was summoned to court to appear as a witness in a lawsuitThe prosecutor opened his questioning with, “Where were you the night of August 24th?”“Objection!” said the defense attorney“Irrelevant!”“Oh, that's okay,” said the blonde from the witness
A blonde was summoned to court to appear as a witness in a lawsuitThe prosecutor opened his questioning with, “Where were you the night of August 24th?”“Objection!” said the defense attorney“Irrelevant!”“Oh, that's okay,” said the blonde from the witness
28.
A man lives in a highrise on the 15th floor.
Every morning, on the way to work, he takes the elevator all the way down to the 1st floor.
But when he comes home, he takes the elevator to the 8th floor and walks the rest of the way up.
The only exc
A man lives in a highrise on the 15th floor.
Every morning, on the way to work, he takes the elevator all the way down to the 1st floor.
But when he comes home, he takes the elevator to the 8th floor and walks the rest of the way up.
The only exc
29.
To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first guy a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”The first guy answers, “That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!”Th
To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first guy a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”The first guy answers, “That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!”Th
30.
Some ecclesiastical gentlemen — a cardinal, a couple of bishops and some others — were waiting outside the Pearly Gates for St. Peter to open up.
He finally arrived, but just they were about to enter heaven St. Peter asked them to wait a moment and let
Some ecclesiastical gentlemen — a cardinal, a couple of bishops and some others — were waiting outside the Pearly Gates for St. Peter to open up.
He finally arrived, but just they were about to enter heaven St. Peter asked them to wait a moment and let
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